As parents, we often don’t realize–except in long term retrospect–how we contributed to an over-reaction in our children. I find all the suggestions here to be very helpful in relating to my adult son. I strenuously protected him as a child, since he faced so much rejection from teachers and others due to his behavioral issues / diagnoses. Rightly, he felt labeled by doctors and schools and was treated quite unfairly. He felt abandoned by everyone in his family except for me and his older brother. I was constantly standing up on his behalf, which had bad as well as good consequences. Now–whenever stressed–he tends to shout out his anger about how he felt as a child. He brags to the point of putting down others in relation to how exceptional he is (and of course, he is–intelligent, athletic, strong, reliable, determined, generous). I know that my role now is to support the view of himself that he feels was not supported as well as it could have been during his childhood–his strengths and his right to just be a child, instead of controlled by teaches poorly equipped to deal with differences among children. It’s not always easy, because his excesses and lashing out unfairly are often very hard to bear.