Great points. Having been a nurse manager in the past and having 3 difficult direct reports, I suggest having a 1:1 direct report meeting with the presence of another manager if there is no resolution after the first meeting/meetings.

Yes, good point John. Thanks for adding your wisdom!

Good point. Facts are friendly, opinions can lead to rabbit holes. Great addition to this good plan.

A fact might be “You rarely contribute to group discussions” or “When we reach consensus, you often come up with excuses or reasons why the decision is bad or unachievable.”

I would suggest eliminating the words “rarely” and “often” in your offer of facts as these words are also conclusions vs. facts. I have witnessed conversations where the use of these words trigger defensive rebuttals wherein the other person argues that they exercise great judgment when contributing input to discussions as a show of respect for the team so as not to waste valuable team time and resources. They argue that they challenge team consensus only when they fear that the process was tainted or the consensus seems to represent a shallow understanding of the problem!

I recommend sticking with one or two specific occasions wherein the stated behavior was observed. (“During yesterday’s Progress Meeting you offered alternative solutions after the team’s consensus position was finalized and adopted. “

This fact may not be easy to hear although it may stir less defensiveness than when using interpretive words like “rarely” or “often”.

Thank you for this chance to share my perspective.

John Bourke
President: Bourke & Associates