Comments on: How to Avoid Getting Angry

By: Yvonne

Yvonne — Mon, 26 Sep 2022 21:34:21 +0000

My approach is two-fold. Go in with curiosity about the person and their perspective while also being curious about how I might see it differently. There is no reason to get angry. Sometimes people need time and space to see things in a different light.

By: Farhan Ali

Farhan Ali — Wed, 26 May 2021 11:18:15 +0000

Great Article.

By: Janet Kloos

Janet Kloos — Fri, 09 Dec 2016 20:37:32 +0000

In reply to Kevin Van Nostrand.

“The way I see it…” is an entrance line I use. Or “I wonder if (the person) thinks about it this way…”

By: Craig A Bradley

Craig A Bradley — Wed, 16 Nov 2016 17:22:34 +0000

When I realize I am tired. Yawning too much. Not able to read. I move crucial conversation to other times. This is especially true at home.

By: Stefy

Stefy — Wed, 16 Nov 2016 11:59:40 +0000

Breathing can help to take you back to “where you are”. It takes you back to self-consciousness. It’s a physical exercise that anyone can do to reinforce self-awareness. Concentrate on the breathing process, feel the fresh air coming in your nostrils and the warm air coming out. This helps to break the emotions vicious cycle.

By: Vernel

Vernel — Wed, 16 Nov 2016 02:16:46 +0000

What has helped me the most is to write down my thoughts and feelings, however bad. Then wait 20 minutes and revise. Then wait another 20 and revise again.

When I do several rounds of it, I wind up at a place where I see my own part in the situation and my anger or exasperation with the other person(s) is gone. Then, I am ready to make something work and to apologize if I need to.

If I’m with people when I want to explode, I try to delay so I can have some time to write it out and cool off.

It helps me to remember that you can hardly ever take it back. Another person’s memory of your anger or other bad behavior and of their own hurt is pretty sticky.

Thanks for the reminder!

By: Phil

Phil — Sun, 13 Nov 2016 18:38:48 +0000

My comment has more to do with the space between stimulus and response. For myself, if the conversation has turned critical, I may take the other persons comment or response personally. I may feel that this is an attack and pride sets in. To mitigate this or increase the gap, I have found that it may be best to stop the conversation before it escalates (if possible) and ask the person if the conversation can continue later to provide some breathing space. This is similar when responding to an email. It is easy to respond quickly without thinking and later regret what was written. Step away, get a coffee or go for a run (from another readers comment :)) and ensure you are in the right space before responding. It is too easy to let pride take control and respond harshly. Great article!

By: Nita

Nita — Thu, 10 Nov 2016 14:45:51 +0000

What a great answer and article. I love the idea of enlarging the space between trigger and response and also of looking deeper to see why something triggers me at all.

I get angry when people don’t follow my rules and do what they “should” do. But I don’t live by other people’s rules. Why do I expect them to live by mine? It has been helpful to remember that truth and look deeper.

Generally speaking, I have discovered that my anger is most often related to how other people’s choices affect me and those I care about. It isn’t just because someone did something “wrong” according to my rules.

Looking at the causes of my anger has opened my eyes to how often I respond to the world around me from a very self-centered position. Knowing that my anger reveals my selfishness and lack of love for those around me has helped me to get rid of some of the “trigger points” in my life.

It’s not that I can stop being self-centered, but seeing it helps me understand that my anger problem is on my side of the fence and not the fault of the person who I blame for “making me angry”. They did what they did and I decided to get angry about it.

What has helped me the most has been to recognize before God that I have a problem with being self-centered, to confess that to Him and to ask Him to change me and help me to love others the way He loves me. I’ve seen Him make changes in me that I was incapable of making on my own.

By: Joanne Todesco

Joanne Todesco — Wed, 09 Nov 2016 23:40:33 +0000

I try a couple of things I don’t think have been mentioned yet. One is that I sort of ‘zone out’ and listen to what’s going on from outside myself.

The other thing is to decide I’m not going to respond. Instead I’m going to allow a period of silence and see what happens.

By: Danielle Dillon

Danielle Dillon — Wed, 09 Nov 2016 18:14:07 +0000

Your blog was timely considering behavior and reactions were a topic in a team meeting yesterday. I think we sometimes forget that we are human and reactions may not always be flawlessly professional. I am constantly reminding myself that everyone is human, we learn at different paces and have different understandings. It is better to be kind than to contribute to the negativity in the world.