Well said!

Boss to Coworker-2 : “John, I suspect that you may have Asperger syndrome or Autism, would you like to go to a doctor?”

I 100% agree with you, Farrah. The first thing I thought was potential liability. I write a newsletter about workplace situations, and I would never tell someone to do this. Amateur mental health diagnosis is a dangerous thing – both in and outside the workplace.

In the workplace, your focus must be to assume it’s a matter of lack of skill. Follow the normal process (e.g., coaching, mentoring, education) and move down that path and see what happens. If that doesn’t work, go up the chain of command (unless you are the top) and contact the appropriate department (such as HR) and find out how to proceed.

Above everything, no one must discuss this potential cause during face-to-face discussions, via email or other communication means. If they do, this puts the company in position for legal action because of illegal activities by their employees.

Folks: It is very dangerous to go down this path.

I wrote the first comment on this post, the one about communication styles a la Robert Bolton. I was once very much like the person in question. Learning about communication styles was an enormous gift because it enabled me both to see myself more clearly and to understand others’ styles. My communication skills improved rapidly and many of my challenges at work and in my personal life decreased.

If someone had asked me if I had some kind of disorder I’m not sure what I’d have done. I feel confident that it would not have been pretty.

Instead, focus on the specific, observable behaviors you see him do, as mentioned in the initial email, and either suggest replacement behaviors or get him to brainstorm replacement behaviors with you. such as:

“I have heard you interrupt people when they are still talking. Instead, I want you to…”

“I overheard Sally tell you three times that she had to leave for another meeting. You have to be more respectful of other people’s time, so I want you to tell me what you strategies you can think of to do that…”

“I was in the meeting when you asked Bill for details that were far beyond the scope of the meeting. Next time, I want you to review the scope of the meeting beforehand and limit your questions to that scope. ” or “If you have other questions, you can ask Bill if he will have time to discuss them with you later.”

“I notice that you want to take a deeper dive on data than we usually have time for. What do you think causes that? What do you think you can do to decide how much detail you need to make a good decision, and still stay within our time limits? I would be happy to help you create some guidelines around that.”

“I notice that sometimes people have used metaphors or similes around you that you seem to miss, which seems to leave you behind in the conversation. What can I do to help you with that?”

You can also train this person’s coworkers that they need to be explicit.
“Dave, I have to leave now.” will get across the message that they have to leave.

Many people on the autism spectrum make excellent employees, if they are given the proper jobs that work to their strengths and minimize the weaknesse.

You can also sign up for their emails for free and it will give you some further insight into life on the spectrum.

I am not associated with aspergerexperts.com in any way. But I have a son with Aspergers and it makes our lives….. interesting and challenging and wonderful.

Spot on! Amateurs shouldn’t go around trying to diagnose Asperger’s or any other syndrome.

Confine your discussions to behavior and its impact on the employee and team’s performance.