Comments on: How to Keep Your Distance and Your Friends

By: william shore

william shore — Tue, 30 Jun 2020 19:41:15 +0000

In reply to Steve Willis. this is very useful information

By: Steve Willis

Steve Willis — Fri, 24 Apr 2020 21:34:34 +0000

In reply to Gracie. Glad you found it useful

By: Gracie

Gracie — Fri, 24 Apr 2020 17:08:26 +0000

When I remember to use either a behavioral frame or value frame and I do it properly, it results in understanding and connection.

Excellent! And thank you for this extremely valuable reminder!

By: Steve Willis

Steve Willis — Thu, 23 Apr 2020 15:48:52 +0000

I think we run into danger of creating deeper divides than necessary when we feel we have the moral high ground. When we’re in the right, it’s easy to think, “why should we have to explain anything? We shouldn’t have to excuse our actions.” In this state, we often give ourselves permission to respond to others in ways that come across as lecturing or preachy.

Bandura suggests that we often approach others in these circumstances as though they were morally deficient; as though our job is to drive values back into them. He goes on to suggest that most people aren’t devoid of values, but have slipped into a “value slumber.”

For me this is where framing has become so useful. It’s less about a apologizing and more about educating. I’m helping others understand my actions, without creating immediate resistance. And, many times, creating a new understanding in them as to why these actions might be important for them also.

By: Darrell

Darrell — Thu, 23 Apr 2020 02:47:40 +0000

Great advice, Steve to preempt a misunderstanding. Of course, you could also add a contrast statement after the fact if you find that someone has misunderstood your intent.

By: Anne Apynys

Anne Apynys — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 18:43:34 +0000

I am a nurse working in a hospital with lots of Covid patients and I am astonished and horrified that this is even an issue. I agree with the previous commenter: go home and stay home. This is not an issue of beliefs: Covid is real and your beliefs will not protect you from that reality. Every time someone challenges social distancing It feels like a slap in the face to every health care worker who is putting their own lives on the line caring for Covid patients. I don’t wish Covid on anyone but I cannot help but feel that every act of resistance to Covid health restrictions is a type of suicidal wish. Everyone — please go home and stay home. It’s an issue of public health and we are all members of the public.

By: isnt it obvious

isnt it obvious — Wed, 22 Apr 2020 17:30:27 +0000

Why do we have to explain that we are keeping social distancing guidelines and good hygiene. That should be common sense!
And why are people meeting anyway. Go home and stay home – that is all we should be doing. Don’t apologize for helping to stop this virus.
if people don’t understand the point of social distancing they need to learn that guidelines are there to protect everyone. They are lucky they are not laws. Personally, if your not obeying the guidelines you should face dire consequences.