Comments on: Is It Ever Okay to End a Relationship with a Family Member?

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By: Genie

Genie — Fri, 11 Sep 2020 18:50:20 +0000

In reply to Lover of Truth. I gave up trying to make things work with my family. It’s a 40 year history of very unfair/inappropriate behavior. Siblings have gossiped about me to potential and actual employers. They’ve given my information to exes/stalkers and take sides with my enemies. I’m excluded from their important events and decline mine. They make anything else a priority over spending time with me. They’re never happy for my wins and always try to outdo me. They’re careless with my property. They never call first. They brush off my son when they run into him. They haven’t tried to call or email in over 6 years. They make up excuses for not meeting me. I’d always helped them but they never helped me. I could go on for days. They’ll never change and they’re never good company except to strangers. As an adult, I don’t need them in my life. It’s always been painful and damaging. If people don’t add to your well being, you need to build a new team. I surround myself with caring people who don’t play mean girl games now that we’re all over 50.

By: Denna

Denna — Thu, 10 Sep 2020 14:14:31 +0000

Family is sometimes “fornever” when it means you must compromise your integrity to float along in the boat. When no one else has the courage to seek the truth and repeats a happening that didn’t happen, they come to believe whatever is said and said and said. That’s comprising integrity.

By: Hanne

Hanne — Sun, 30 Aug 2020 16:19:14 +0000

Yes!!! Beautiful answer.

This really means before you start the crucial conversation with the other person, have one with yourself: be in alignment with who you are and from there lead (or start or stay in) the conversation with the other. Know your own standards and behaviors, make sure your standards are congruent with your behaviors and you’ll find this family member/loved one won’t bother you as much, naturally. And if they do, approach the other with tact and at the same time be clear about your clean boundaries.

No one is perfect, but we can all try to become better.

Hanne from communicationwise.org

By: Laura

Laura — Sun, 12 Jan 2020 21:40:35 +0000

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By: Laura

Laura — Sat, 07 Apr 2018 03:23:38 +0000

Wonderful article. Thank you

By: Thomas W. O'Reilly

Thomas W. O'Reilly — Wed, 04 Apr 2018 17:10:05 +0000

Emily, this is such a poignant and beautifully expressed answer to this question. I want to thank you that you didn’t stop at “Yes!” as your answer!

Everything in our lives fits into one of 2 buckets: that which we can control, and that which we can’t. The ONLY thing that fits into the 1st bucket is ourselves; everything & everyone else fits into the other.

Againg, thank you!

Thomas

By: Lover of Truth

Lover of Truth — Wed, 04 Apr 2018 16:17:10 +0000

There is no ‘your truth’ or ‘my truth’. There is only ‘the truth’ and your opinion and perceptions and my opinion and perceptions. Talking about your and my truth and/or your and my reality only messes up the world, including or especially when trying to have crucial conversations..

By: Melanie Gao

Melanie Gao — Wed, 04 Apr 2018 15:43:13 +0000

There is so much wisdom in this – “time and experience have taught me that I can’t control the outcome of a conversation or even how someone else will feel at the end of it.” We don’t control how other people will feel and we’re not responsible for their feelings. We are responsible for treating them with love and truth. Thanks Emily!

By: Jenni

Jenni — Wed, 04 Apr 2018 13:50:06 +0000

Wow this is extremely good! Thank you for answering this question and hitting on so many good points in the process! I especially appreciate your points on forgiving and allowing each person the ability to change and grow and maybe in the future it being possible to reconnect. Great, great article. Thank you again.