Comments on: Crucial Conversations in a Crowd and Other Less Than Ideal Circumstances

By: Rachel

Rachel — Tue, 25 Apr 2017 13:48:25 +0000

I have been in situations like an all day long meeting or team retreat where I needed to have a crucial conversation, but there was not time for a walk and nowhere to have a conversation without other colleagues noticing and overhearing. I would be interested in suggestions on how to have a crucial conversation during those circumstances.

By: Karin B.

Karin B. — Wed, 19 Apr 2017 19:22:05 +0000

Thanks for the suggestions when conducting phone conversations and visual cues and feedback aren’t available. I like the “more and fewer words” directions as well. This will help with some of our Talent Coaches who have to conduct meetings with employees about feedback information without being at the same site.

By: Olen Jones

Olen Jones — Wed, 19 Apr 2017 16:21:18 +0000

A couple of other positives about the walking conversation: walking together re-enforces the idea of moving together towards a resolution; walking gets the blood and air supply moving a little faster, which can help counter the monkey brain we often experience in stressful situations.

By: Jackie

Jackie — Wed, 19 Apr 2017 13:56:38 +0000

hi, I’d like to share one of my main take-aways after doing the Crucial Conversations course, that has become invaluable to me: I simply say (more than every before in my life!) “I apologize”. I wasn’t raised with that phrase, then I was married for 40 years to an angry man who always wanted to be right (making me wrong), which got my back up so I didn’t ever want to apologize…. sadly. This sounds so simple but it’s made such a difference to me! It really seems to impact people, maybe soften their hearts to what I’m about to say next…. I did that recently on both sides of an issue where I’d misunderstood; it’s kind of a way of taking responsibility for what’s gone wrong, even if it wasn’t 100% my fault…. the more I say it, the more I like it! 🙂

By: Jan

Jan — Wed, 19 Apr 2017 13:05:31 +0000

Emily,

Just an observation/thought/question regarding the discussion on visual cues – “We are blind to all of the visual cues of how someone else is reacting to our message.”

I was/am curious of the statement regarding non-verbals are the largest part of receiving a message. Some comments say as large as 70-80%.

I met with a person from a school for the blind and ask the question, “How well does a person do who was born with sight and is now blind in having a conversation?”. The response was, “As good as before, maybe better, because they have no distractions and have become better listeners.”

Do you, or your colleagues, have any updated information/studies on the impact of non-verbals, or lack thereof? Or, any other techniques for active listening when on a phone call in addition to the ones you had in your article? Thanks.

Jan