Comments on: Weathering Strained Holiday Relationships

By: Clifford Spoonemore

Clifford Spoonemore — Tue, 03 Jan 2017 22:59:36 +0000

When I was reading this adventure it reminded me of a old custom story. Great Great Grandma passed down the receipt for cooking the perfect roast beast. Of course the ingredients were listed and then the description of how to prepare the beast. And when the receipt was passed down to me from my mother. One of the items was to cut the ends of the beast. This really did not make much sense to me so I asked why? The answer was because that is what the receipt called for. Well that was not good enough for my curiosity and GG Grandma was still around so when we were all together for the big meal. I asked Grandma why she cut the ends off of the roast beast before cooking. She said; the beast would not fit into my cooking pan.

Now that was not part of the receipt, but there must be a reason why Christmas is to be held at Mom’s house. For us kids it was the only time the family collected in one place and for a good reason, Christmas! As time went on some of the family said they could not make it. Then age also reached out to Mom and she said “no more, I’m tired”. We can still gather at her place but we had to bring some of the dinner. Just realizing that things change and to make sure as many can be a part, the group had to change.

There is no winners if you cut both ends off the roast beast. Look for a way to make the meal a hole meal for even an hour or two. Good luck and I hope you will continue to enjoy Christmas with the family.

By: Sarah Dickinson

Sarah Dickinson — Thu, 03 Dec 2015 05:52:22 +0000

Maybe both of you can come to a compromise. You spend Christmas morning at your house with your family and mother-in-law. Have your Christmas meal around lunchtime. In the evening, have your husband (and maybe kids) stay home with the mother-in-law, while you eat dinner at your mom’s house. You may not eat much, but I don’t think that would matter too much to your mom as long as your sitting at the table, spending time with her. This isn’t the best solution for anyone, but that is what a compromise is.

By: Grizzly bear mom

Grizzly bear mom — Wed, 02 Dec 2015 15:57:40 +0000

PERHAPS mom is jealous that mom in law is needy and taking your time?

Could it be that mom loves making the holday? Ask her to come help make it for mom in law. Maybe she can help make new years for mom in law while mil’s other kids visit.

Otherwise for your mom to know mIil. Is health is failing is grossly unreasonable. No one has the right to make you choose like this. How sad for you.

By: Michele

Michele — Wed, 02 Dec 2015 12:28:26 +0000

That is called bad behavior on your mother’s part. Do not deal with it. Do what you feel is right. If she doesn’t like, her loss. Start living your life and stop giving into her. She is very selfish on her part.

By: Gladys

Gladys — Wed, 02 Dec 2015 00:10:12 +0000

I appreciate that this sentence was included: “It doesn’t mean you will agree with those actions and it doesn’t mean that you will be eating Christmas dinner at her house or even that she will be eating it at your house.” Just because you want and try to come to mutual purpose doesn’t mean it will always happen and you shouldn’t feel guilty about that if you tried your best. If the mother’s purpose is to be the boss of the family and have her wishes always granted, or that she will not compromise in any way, then the statement about stopping talking to your mother, becomes the answer, but maybe only when the question of Christmas dinner at her house comes up. I would love to hear how this comes out next year.