Comments on: When the Skills Seem to Come Up Short, Consider This https://cruciallearning.com/blog/when-the-skills-seem-to-come-up-short-consider-this/ VitalSmarts is now Crucial Learning Sat, 08 Dec 2018 17:09:29 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 By: Lorni https://cruciallearning.com/blog/when-the-skills-seem-to-come-up-short-consider-this/#comment-6701 Sat, 08 Dec 2018 17:09:29 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7569#comment-6701 Glad you got to the end-game, actually – my main takeaway after I did my honestly life-changing Crucial Conversations course was that with certain people, I had done my best and that’s enough. The tools of Crucial Conversations were weirdly familiar to me; the positive results – either change or improvement – less so. Crucial Conversations gave me that permission to stop. Some people you cannot Crucial Conversation your way out of, and I love being able to spare myself more bruising and just stop.

]]> By: bean https://cruciallearning.com/blog/when-the-skills-seem-to-come-up-short-consider-this/#comment-6700 Fri, 07 Dec 2018 02:20:57 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7569#comment-6700 “I find that if I care about the relationship at all, even if things are going very poorly, I owe it to myself and the other person to come back the next day and give it another shot . . . hopefully a better shot.”

this really struck a chord with me because i feel exactly the same way, but i have a hard time convincing people asking me for advice of the value of this (punishing, at first glance) approach; i’ve become pretty adept at responding to my negative emotions/judgments with forbearance and some degree of curiosity, but only because i know how integral those are to my final goal of connecting with this other person on something…

i wonder if you’d elaborate on how you came to value that approach… implicitly i’m hoping it showcases the value of crucial skills, which a lot of people i know are reticent to discipline themselves enough to even try…

either way, thanks for your thoughts.

]]> By: JennyG https://cruciallearning.com/blog/when-the-skills-seem-to-come-up-short-consider-this/#comment-6699 Fri, 07 Dec 2018 02:19:25 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7569#comment-6699 Hey Justin, Thanks for this realistic and very helpful perspective. Safety in relationships does take lots of time and work and it’s good for us all to keep that in mind. Very few quick fixes in this domain, but also a lot of hope for us if we’re patient and care enough to do the work. Thanks for your encouragement in this regard!

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