Comments on: The Anatomy of an Apology https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-anatomy-of-an-apology/ VitalSmarts is now Crucial Learning Thu, 28 Jul 2022 14:45:40 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 By: Dawn https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-anatomy-of-an-apology/#comment-10029 Thu, 28 Jul 2022 14:45:40 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7442#comment-10029 My take on “I’m sorry” is that folks just overuse it, so the phrase falls flat when the phrase (and the onus) are truly needed. “I’m sorry your cat died”, “I’m sorry” (I bumped into you), “I’m sorry to hear that”….really listen to yourself as you move through your day and catch yourself as you say “I’m sorry” and try to rephrase to something more appropriate – “I am saddened by the loss of your pet”, “Ooops, I need to look where I am going!”, “That is unfortunate, what can I do to help?”.
In this manner, when you are TRULY SORRY for something, then the words may have more meaning.

]]> By: 6 dicas para te ajudar a pedir desculpas do jeito certo – 25/07/2022 – UOL ECOA - Folha Popolus https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-anatomy-of-an-apology/#comment-10004 Tue, 26 Jul 2022 06:58:15 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7442#comment-10004 […] Philpot, de escritos do pioneiro da comunicação não-violenta Marshall Rosemberg e de um texto do psicólogo americano Justin Hale, especializado em conversas […]

]]> By: Philip Ray https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-anatomy-of-an-apology/#comment-9951 Tue, 19 Jul 2022 06:34:47 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7442#comment-9951 Loved this one, Justin!! As a “Crucial Learning” trainer for many years, I have had facilitated many interesting conversations on the power of a Sincere Apology but you really nailed it here! And the graphic of trying to fix a broken heart with sellotape was a great visual device!!

]]> By: Carolyn R https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-anatomy-of-an-apology/#comment-9943 Fri, 15 Jul 2022 15:21:27 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7442#comment-9943 Amazingly helpful and clear. In fact, never read it so succinctly and we’ll put. Thank you!

]]> By: Adrienne White https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-anatomy-of-an-apology/#comment-9941 Fri, 15 Jul 2022 03:32:19 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7442#comment-9941 Justin, you absolutely nailed the concept of a “proper” and meaningful apology. The world could benefit from globally embracing your philosophy. Restoration is the driving purpose… restoration of respect and trust. Thank you!

]]> By: Linda Gryczan https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-anatomy-of-an-apology/#comment-9940 Thu, 14 Jul 2022 18:42:12 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7442#comment-9940 In my years of facilitating Restorative Justice, I have learned that apologies for the most egregious offenses can be accepted, but only after the offender demonstrates they truly understand the harm their actions caused. A good introduction to an apology can be something like, “I believe I caused you harm/inconvenience/hurt feelings when I did X. Do you want to tell me more about that?” When the offender listens and acknowledges the harm is when an apology will most likely be heard and accepted.

]]> By: Emily Gamache https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-anatomy-of-an-apology/#comment-9936 Thu, 14 Jul 2022 00:09:51 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7442#comment-9936 Thank you, Justin. Thinking of repairing respect rather than apologizing helps me to see it more clearly. As a child of the 70’s, my parents enforced mandatory / forced apologies when my siblings and I would fight. It never felt good or right and has skewed my view of apologies ever since. This is very helpful!

]]> By: Michael Keenum https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-anatomy-of-an-apology/#comment-9935 Wed, 13 Jul 2022 20:02:55 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7442#comment-9935 Another good book on this topic is Gary Chapman’s “5 Languages of Apology.” In a nutshell, they are:

Expressing regret.
Accepting responsibility.
Making restitution.
Genuinely repenting.
Requesting forgiveness.

Not everyone feels apologized to in the same way, but we tend to relate to one or two of these more than another. Thanks for the insight!

]]> By: CJ https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-anatomy-of-an-apology/#comment-9934 Wed, 13 Jul 2022 19:39:51 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7442#comment-9934 And when multiple apologies to multiple people generate no change it is time to walk away!

]]> By: Windy https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-anatomy-of-an-apology/#comment-9933 Wed, 13 Jul 2022 19:37:20 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=7442#comment-9933 What do you do when the breach was your fault after built up resentment, you’ve apologized, but they won’t agree to talk about the underlying issues or hear your out? How to do salvage the relationship or at the very least, let go of the guilt and regret and move forward?

]]>