Comments on: How to Nail a Difficult Social Script

By: Danial

Danial — Sat, 26 Nov 2022 23:35:54 +0000

I have tried many ways but I am not getting any result. How should the function look like to calculate how many values there are when the creation date and the verified date is the same:

By: Sue Rann

Sue Rann — Thu, 29 Oct 2015 11:48:49 +0000

Thanks very much, Kerry, for pointing up a REALLY crucial skill – for everyone! I was raised in a family where communication was very, very limited. Nobody ever discussed feelings, or really discussed anything else either, come to think of it! Feeling were there in all of us, and eventually anger, frustration and so on would lead to explosions of temper (usually directed at inanimate objects). My parents were very proud of the fact that they had never had a row. Technically, this was true… what they had instead was a really stomach-curdling atmosphere in the home, of frustration and emotions ignored and invalidated so long that it turned the air sour.
I still struggle with verbal communication! Role-play and short courses in this area would be so, so incredibly useful.
Thanks again!

By: Julinda

Julinda — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 16:48:26 +0000

I don’t think humans are actually born with a blank slate – we do have inborn traits, etc. But otherwise, this makes a great point!

By: Melanie

Melanie — Wed, 12 Aug 2015 13:25:41 +0000

I would love to see “Crucial Conversations” written for teenagers and young adults. I have three teenage daughters and the biggest thing I see them dealing with in a social setting is how to resolve conflict. Most of the time their solution is like their peers–just talk to everyone else about the situation but the actual person. Please, please provide a resource that a parent can use in teaching these vital tools to children.

By: maryellenhall

maryellenhall — Sat, 01 Aug 2015 17:06:15 +0000

Oh, that would be to much to ask, to actually help someone to interact

By: Lois

Lois — Fri, 31 Jul 2015 19:13:22 +0000

I absolutely agree with the value of deliberate practice–it has been validated over and over. Yet, in my experience as a trainer and student, most adult learners HATE role playing. What advice do you or others have on how to influence them to “love what they hate” so that they can “do what they can’t”? (Borrowing from the recent Influencer videos with Joseph Grenny) Does calling it deliberate practice help??

By: Irene

Irene — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 19:02:47 +0000

“If you do give me feedback, wait a long time—and then make it vague.” seems typical of corporate performance reviews. Agree with Chason, it’s hard to find that sort of coaching for adults and the desire to invest the time it requires — for both the coach and mentee.

By: Chason

Chason — Wed, 29 Jul 2015 15:04:17 +0000

I want to strongly agree with your statement about being specific and coaching. It makes teaching so much more effective when used to supplement the theoretical lessons. Unfortunately it is difficult to find this sort of coaching for adults in the real world

By: dwarvenhornBruce

dwarvenhornBruce — Wed, 29 Jul 2015 13:40:28 +0000

Kerry – Delightful story and how both you and your daughter handled this situation. My only comment is that while humans may be born with a mostly “blank slate”, they are also born with a temperament. My own case in point: My oldest daughter at 5 years old (now 28) was approached by a family friend during the late summer who asked her if she was looking forward to going to school. Her answer was unique and something that surprised all of us. “Oh YES!” she said all bubbly and smiles. “I can’t WAIT to see all the friends I haven’t met yet!” She’d never heard my wife or I say that, and when my son and younger daughter were the same age, they would have responded with a simple “Uh-huh.” Even from an early age, my oldest daughter was completely socially inclusive, while my son and youngest daughter were inclined to have 2 or 3 good friends and after those a lot of acquaintances. While good manners and sensitivity can be trained, I believe that some people are simply naturally “wired” to be more sensitive than others. That temperament often carries people into adulthood. For some, the sensitivity toward others comes easily, while for others it is a trained skill that has to be learned. While facilitating Crucial Conversations workshops, it has become easy for me to identify those who immediately “get it” (Temperament? Upbringing? Life experience?) compared to others who approach the principles with a squinting sideways glance.
By the way, was there ever an apology and restoration of good feelings to your daughter’s friend?