Comments on: Saving a Relationship From the Sidelines

By: Patricia Frame

Patricia Frame — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 18:37:00 +0000

Great ideas for talking in column and above for real-world actions. Many caregivers get ill themselves from the stress, one thing most could use is a real break. Offer your sister-in-law a few days off where you will care for your brother, next time it might be a week if you can.

By: Dick Dye

Dick Dye — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 17:40:31 +0000

Here are some observations and recommendations from the husband of a severely depressed and anxious wife. My wife has battled severe depression and anxiety for years.

First, if the author’s sister-in-law is “very impatient with him and at times, I feel, belligerent,” I suggest congratulating her sister-in-law for sticking it out and not throwing in the towel. Living with a person suffering from “severe anxiety” is incredibly difficult. If the sister-in-law is, at times, belligerent, she is doing very well if she is not constantly belligerent; the frustration generated by an anxious person is not understandable until you have experienced it.

Second, offer a listening ear for your sister-in-law to blow off steam. Let her vent her frustrations without judgment. Offer support and empathy.

By: Dianne

Dianne — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 17:15:34 +0000

I agree with above strategies. In addition, perhaps your sister-in-law needs some support. The caregiver or partner deals with a lot of stress. She may not understand or “buy” into his illness, or may be overloaded in dealing with this. Taking some of the burden off of her may help her be a better caregiver and partner to your brother. This can be seen with cancer, addictions, illness, life stressors, and other situations. She also is dealing with a lot and needs help and support too!