Comments on: Confronting a Gossiping Boss

By: Lex

Lex — Sun, 16 Jul 2017 13:52:04 +0000

Bad advice. Lay low, stay positive if possible and find another job in a new department, the situation will only change when the boss is replaced.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Thu, 29 Oct 2015 21:45:18 +0000

In reply to Terry Johnson.

I agree so much with what you have to say.
My situation is that I work for the school district in my county.
I took this job because I am a single mother and I want to be off when my son is off.
I have requested a school transfer from the big boss at the district and did give her a few details about the situation to only be treated cold when I went back to work the next day.
Word got around in less than 24 hours.
When I think about it now; it’s just funny.
I’ve always said that I’d rather work with all men.
Thank you again for your insight .

By: Beth

Beth — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 14:02:59 +0000

In reply to bean sagof. Have a supervisor like that. Since from day 1, he gossips about his other colleagues and students and seem very delightful in putting people down. Currently he has been gossiping about me and I feel unjustified for the things he said. Confronting him is useless as we have tried and he thinks that we are all not good enough for him but he never spend quality time educating but spend it gossiping about us or to us..

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Sat, 05 Feb 2011 21:26:50 +0000

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By: bean sagof

bean sagof — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 03:49:07 +0000

i’ve said before that i don’t like that you guys have quotes from your own authors in what used to be the more inspiring quote section, BUT this one is totally worthy. thankyou for this small piece of interpersonal technology.
terry, i’m so sorry you feel like clamming up is a solution: haven’t these guys made it patent that there’s a better in-between? of course the boss sucks and it’s hard to work with her, but that attitude can’t help i don’t think… the reasonable rational person thing works most of the time, but having no hope is so demoralizing.

By: liping

liping — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 02:49:12 +0000

This whole series of response on the issue of gossip is so good. Thank you to all of you. Your service is much needed at the work place and in the world. sa

By: Terry Johnson

Terry Johnson — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 14:10:56 +0000

I feel that I need to make a comment regarding your reply to Seeking. I agree that in a perfect world your advice would work well, but we don’t live in a perfect world and I think that confronting this gossiping boss is at best a ticket to the cold shoulder and at worst a ticket to ride. I have worked at many places where this happens and I think that it’s so prevelent in our society that it’s really a tough thing to squelch.
My only advice is to say that she is very busy as ther is so much work to do that she really doesn’t have time to chit chat or something might be missed. I would advise her to try and rise above it by just replying to the boss in a positive manner and refusing to join in on the people bashing. It says to me that this boss is not to be trusted with anything personal at all. Maybe in time she will tire of the gossip and just get on with her job, but until then act like a crustacian and clam up.

By: Darlene Harbick

Darlene Harbick — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 14:07:21 +0000

I’m disappointed in your answer because essentially, you told him that he needed to have this conversation with the boss, but you didn’t tell him how. I see a problem in his own actions, in that he did not say to the boss that he was uncomfortable about hearing gossip about others, rather he asked the boss not to gossip to others about him. I must admit I too had a boss like this, but did not speak up, just fumed in silence. Eventually her unprofessionalism, which carried over into other areas, was recognized and she was demoted. However, had I to do it over again, I would have stopped her when she started speaking about others, with a comment about not being comfortable having that conversation behind their back, and then redirecting the conversation elsewhere. However, I agree with you that it needs to be a group discussion as it’s clear that others in this person’s group are not discouraging the behavior effectively either. But does the person go behind the boss’s back to organize his coworkers for an intervention, or how exactly does he get the group to take action together?

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