https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-silent-spouse/ VitalSmarts is now Crucial Learning Thu, 24 Feb 2022 17:49:25 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-silent-spouse/#comment-13 Wed, 02 Jul 2014 17:04:25 +0000 http://www.crucialskills.com/?p=2456#comment-13 Wow! Thank you unresolved for sharing this issue! I have this exact problem in my relationship. I have to remember to start these conversations from a safe place which is not always easy. Over time the pattern of being dismissed is very frustratating and you lose your sense of respect. I need to stop, take a moment consider what my intentions are with starting from heart and then address the issue from a safe place. I know it’s going to take me some time but I’m willing to work through this. Thank you!

]]> https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-silent-spouse/#comment-12 Wed, 29 Aug 2012 14:48:48 +0000 http://www.crucialskills.com/?p=2456#comment-12 I have had the same issue with my husband, who is an introvert and likes time to process. What has worked with me is to lay out my thoughts, tell him that I need to hear what he’s thinking (and why) and then ask him to let me know when he’s ready to share his thoughts. Occasionally I need to ask him to give me a time when he can talk, but now that he’s got more space to think and knows it will be safe, he is good about getting back to me. I know it won’t work for everyone, but thought I’d share what worked for me. We’ve had some good dialog about his addictions and my co-dependency using this approach – an issue we handled in a very disfunctional way in the past.

]]> https://cruciallearning.com/blog/the-silent-spouse/#comment-11 Wed, 28 Mar 2012 16:16:47 +0000 http://www.crucialskills.com/?p=2456#comment-11 My wife and I have this same type fo conversation. Thank you for allowing me to recognize that my form of communication is not affective. Using the techniques describe here, and in the book, have really made an impact on how I communicate to others.

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