Comments on: Atoning for Past Mistakes

By: gaurav

gaurav — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 19:35:13 +0000

Hey Ron…..wishin u the very best on your journey ahead…i sincierly hope u further continue with ur good work…which has impacted millions of lives globally….regards….

By: Sam marutzky

Sam marutzky — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 19:25:02 +0000

Spot on! Why is it so hard for us to see the need and have the desire to apologize? Life would be so much less complicated and enjoyable for everyone. Thank you.

By: Luis

Luis — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 18:10:16 +0000

Great advice Ron. No doubt, there is always opportunity to heal a “bumped” relationship, and that only requires we take full responsibility of our actions and attitudes as the main source of the issue. Once this is accepted, our “healing wish” could guide our actions back to a healthy relationship.
Thanks You

By: Stu Peterson

Stu Peterson — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 16:27:16 +0000

Excellent coaching. Never come across instruction like on this topic that was so thorough and practical. Thank you.

By: Sherry Gay

Sherry Gay — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 16:03:19 +0000

Great advice! Correctly evaluating the problem has to come before finding the right solution, and it can be very difficult (and painful) to assess how we are our own problem. Thank you.

By: Cynthia Seeley

Cynthia Seeley — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 14:54:18 +0000

Fabulous teaching Ron. Thank you so much for what you contribute to improved lives and relationships. I really benefit from Vital Smarts and what you and your partners have brought forward. Thank you.

By: Pamela Mason

Pamela Mason — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 14:23:35 +0000

The act of Describing the Gap can be telling. I am similarly driven to get a job done. I am unlikely to express my frustration to my co-workers and those I supervise, and more likely to just push myself harder, but all the same I experience the tension and begin to notice all the details that are not fully up to snuff.

However, I have found, sometimes, that when I take a step back and actually Describe the Gap – to myself! – I discover that much of the work is actually moving forward and it is simply my perception that is a little skewed.

Getting clear on the facts of any situation can be such a liberating experience!

By: Tom Ehrenberg

Tom Ehrenberg — Wed, 01 Oct 2014 13:03:59 +0000

About 10 years ago I was in a similar situation. My job was on the line due to my frequent blow-ups. Crucial Conversations gave me the tools, I just had to find the right way to use them. Aided by a good memory I went back to all of those individuals that I had offended. I apologized for the past and told them that was all I could do. The key was that I also promised them that there would be a change in me and our interaction. The key to the apology was that the bad behavior had to end. If the negative behavior continued the apology was worthless. What I did learn was that it took time for that apology to provide fruit. The behavior stopped and it varied from individual to individual how long it took to build trust back again. I also came to realize that there were a few individuals that I would hold a grudge forever. I did the best I could and if they want to hold a grudge I had to realize the problem was no longer mine, it was theirs. I still treat these people with respect but there are some people that just can’t let go of the past. I wish you all the success in accomplishing this.