Comments on: What to Do When You’ve Been Blindsided

By: John J. Chico

John J. Chico — Thu, 04 Jan 2024 16:32:00 +0000

I believe a “confrontation” needs to take place -either individually or in a group. The group setting described certainly sounds more dangerous. However, it might have been necessasry. I am a staff member in an organization where three managers routinely discuss negative comments about staff members (which staff members may not be aware of) with the department head. When I heard that this was a routine occurrence I was shocked at the unprofessionalism. Unfortunately, I did nothing. I regret doing nothing because it seemed to signal an acceptance of their negative comments without any concern or attempted remediation. In retrospect, I should have asked to meet with the management team and expressed my concern in “scientist” mode.

By: CNM, 25 years USN (ret)

CNM, 25 years USN (ret) — Wed, 03 Jan 2024 19:52:34 +0000

In reply to Jennifer Evans. Thank you for sharing. It truly takes courage. I appreciate your transparency and example.

By: CNM, 25 years USN (ret)

CNM, 25 years USN (ret) — Wed, 03 Jan 2024 19:47:14 +0000

In reply to Marie Altman. I do agree with you. I would hope that the CEO would recognize or counsel them on this. I would hope that he/she would ask the right questions to them all. Have you spoken to your colleague about this? If they have not and they way they are going about now is not professional. This should raise concerns about their character. I can relate to the victim who was blindsided. My last 2 years out of 25 years in the military I was done the same way. Depression and PTSD working as a healthcare provider after being accused of incompetence was real. Still three years after retiring from the service I am fighting for my reputation and livelihood. I tried to have a meeting with the accusers and it was an ambush. Logically they were not interested in facts and that I had performed evidence based care and safe high quality care that was proven. They were set on destroying me and my ability to work as a certified nurse midwife after I retired. So it is best to not handle it that way. You perhaps need to get HR and the equal opportunity representative involved.

By: Jennifer Evans

Jennifer Evans — Wed, 03 Jan 2024 17:38:24 +0000

Every situation has to be considered within its own context of course, and before I would go into a meeting as recommended, I would want to talk to the CEO and set some ground rules. (BTW the CEO did not show good judgement in in the first place.) As counter-intuitive as it may sound to sit down with the complainants, there may be some unexpected outcomes for you. I have been the victim/target of similar action, and when I could not confront the other party, it was emotionally devastating. However, when the same thing happened to me at another organization, and I was able to sit down and talk to the parties involved, the outcome was very different. I understood how I could be a more effective leader, it become apparent to everyone that the complaints were actually quite petty if not fabricated (three people were bullied into complaining about me by a person making a power play), and I developed a relationship of mutual respect and regard with staff. I can’t promise this outcome for other situations — but the greatest benefit for me was having a chance to act in keeping with my values of integrity and courage. As I often told my children when they were growing up — do the right thing, not because it will change others (it may), but so that you can respect yourself.

By: Marie Altman

Marie Altman — Wed, 03 Jan 2024 16:15:33 +0000

Boy do I disagree. The advice to go back in and acquiesce to 4 people, as one alone, is poor and dangerous advice. It sounds as though the first meeting with the ceo and 3 others might have felt like an ambush; returning to the scene is not advisable. The fact that the complaining person still bad-mouths behind the questioner’s back, is important information, ignored by the advisor. The three scenarios given are too simplistic. Another might be, ‘there is some merit in the complainer’s dissatisfaction, but it was handled poorly and in such a way as to harm working together.’ Talking behind someone’s back to multiple people, before confronting, then after confronting, is an obstacle not to deny.