Comments on: Responsibility—It Cuts Both Ways

By: KayCee VanCamp

KayCee VanCamp — Fri, 07 Jun 2019 21:05:31 +0000

Really good words Joseph, and thank you to all the others for helpful comments. It’s up to us to be responsible, respectful, and own our responsibilities in this relationship! We have choices.

By: KayCee VanCamp

KayCee VanCamp — Fri, 07 Jun 2019 21:01:58 +0000

In reply to Bill.

Hi Bill, you are correct…all conditions were introduced after the transfer of the property. We aren’t legally obligated to entertain them, just feel wimpy that we cannot stand up to him….with love and respect of course.

By: Lanz

Lanz — Thu, 02 May 2019 00:57:28 +0000

Love the advice given here. Many thanks, Lana 🙂

By: Starrla Hawkins

Starrla Hawkins — Wed, 01 May 2019 21:42:15 +0000

Very hard to accept, but very good advice. I’d say the same to myself. It’ll be up to the daughters to realize they have power to control what they allow and stop allowing their father to treat them in ways they don’t like. We have to come out of the mentality that our parents get to behave how they please and the children should blindly accept, but retain the right to complain about it. That thinking is flawed in my opinion. Everyone has a choice.

By: Teresa Harry

Teresa Harry — Wed, 01 May 2019 20:33:40 +0000

This applies to a situation in my family pretty perfectly and validates what we’ve decided to do about it. Thank you for sharing!

By: Monica Wilsomn

Monica Wilsomn — Wed, 01 May 2019 18:15:23 +0000

Love all of your advice.

By: Maria R

Maria R — Wed, 01 May 2019 17:32:55 +0000

In reply to carsten. Allowing someone to be manipulative of you is not honoring someone and is bound to cause resentment. Parents will always have advice and opinions but playing games with your children and adding conditions to gifts is not loving behavior.

By: Bill

Bill — Wed, 01 May 2019 14:22:44 +0000

Regarding point 1. It seems the conditions were put in place after the gift was accepted. Does this make a difference to your answer to the Four Sisters?

By: Randy Haskett

Randy Haskett — Wed, 01 May 2019 14:07:35 +0000

Considering point 2 that Joseph made. I believe I would also let dad know that you learn nothing about yourself from his unsolicited manipulation (I would say that in a more neutral way). I would add that you ask him to explain why he feels he needs to add a condition such as a “responsibility test”. it seems that may be the conversation that needs to be held.

By: carsten

carsten — Wed, 01 May 2019 14:05:54 +0000

I have to say I can relate to some of this example, remembering my Father who is now deceased. During my final trip with him he berated my driving skills as I ferried him across the country to his new retirement home where my brother lived. It was all I could do to contain my emotions. It reminded me of similiar interactions in my youth. I did contain my emotions, because I wanted to Honor my Father, I am glad I did. He gave me a big hug when I dropped him with my brother. It was the last time I saw him outside of a hospital bed where he barely recognized me and died shortly after. Please honor your father, they are imperfect as we all are. Dad was suffering from a then unknown cancerous tumor at the time we were driving. The treatment lowered his defenses and he became sick and died of Pneumonia. You will miss your Father tremendously when he is gone. Extend Grace to him, as the Heavenly Father extends grace to you. Love him and do all you can to respect and honor his wishes. He is a good man who sacrificed much to raise you to the person you are today.