Comments on: When Money Gets Between Family Members

By: Brooke

Brooke — Thu, 29 Sep 2022 12:33:11 +0000

Please help with my question: Same thing happened to me and my husband with my baby brother, minus the lie… We were young and dumb and lent $3k with major promise & plan for payback, then bro disappeared. We had kids in & out of hospital, bro cared less. Bro rudely said “if I thought it would break you I wouldn’t have asked.” Fast forward many years to me executing grandmother’s will. I was legally able to keep everything, but divided to family by 7. I took the money owed to me from bro’s share, minus a $500 gift to him to not repay.
This was the last straw for brother. He’s done with me for good.
I lost a brother over money…
What do you say about this?

By: Anon

Anon — Thu, 09 Jun 2022 11:48:50 +0000

In reply to Marie. Amen! Never loan out money you can't afford to lose!

By: Anon

Anon — Thu, 09 Jun 2022 11:46:18 +0000

In reply to Hellz. I agree with this!!!!

By: Anon

Anon — Thu, 09 Jun 2022 11:45:35 +0000

In reply to Karleen. You're helping a grown man from losing his home. I wonder if he would do the same for you?

By: Cheryl Neary

Cheryl Neary — Sun, 24 Apr 2022 09:59:39 +0000

What do I do if my brother won’t accept any payments from me. He says, “I don’t want your money.” I feel guilty all the time. We don’t have much of a relationship and never had one….We haven’t spoken in years due to much disrespect to me for years. The last time I spoke up for myself and he hasn’t spoken to me…The times we were together, he spoke down to me again. It was the last straw……….Yet, I still love him and desire to pay him back. I have always payed my debts.

By: Hellz

Hellz — Mon, 07 Dec 2020 14:10:58 +0000

This is probably one of the dumbest advice responses I have ever read. Blaming the victim? Thats like sayin., if a woman goes out with a man, feels things are sketchy but trusts anyway and gets r*ped.. Then its her fault.. She deserved it. She knew it was sketchy and went and got what she deserved. Just an idiotic way of thinking. Believe it or not, some people try to see the good in others. Yes his brother isn’t reliable with money but he wanted to trust him. His brother not paying him back is fully on the brother….not him. Don’t chalk it up as a lesson learned, take him to court. Period. If he doesnt care enough about you to pay you back, then you shouldnt care enough about him to keep him out of a court room. Get your money and cut your ties. He doesnt care about you as a brother.

By: barbara pilarcik

barbara pilarcik — Mon, 29 Jul 2019 20:54:34 +0000

I agree with all that you said except for the statement “I hope you get your brother back.” He never had his brother, or perhaps not for very many years. His brother made his choice about whether he wanted to be a brother when he took the money and never repaid any of it. Does he really need to invest a lot of emotional energy in a one-way relationship when there are so many wonderful people out there?

By: Nanci Burchell

Nanci Burchell — Wed, 23 Jan 2019 17:55:36 +0000

You said nothing about person loaning the money being an enabler. My sister always wanted to “borrow” money when she got into a financial bind. Every time I “loaned” her money I was enabling her to continue to dig herself deeper into debt. I also learned that she would never learn financial responsibility as long as I continued to bail her out. It was a hard lesson to learn.

By: bean

bean — Fri, 18 Jan 2019 05:35:32 +0000

the money wasn’t kissed goodbye because it was given but because bro behaved in a way to keep it. narcissist, sociopath, nicer moniker: i think this type of situation is just not suited for crucial conversations…

so many unctuous presumptions go into designing the dialog, and in the end it’s essentially a power play on the brother’s part that invited one on the other’s part. conversations no longer carry the same meaning at that point; it’s a power struggle.

nonetheless, if i was going to use words (civilly), i like joseph’s for the most part.

By: TC

TC — Thu, 17 Jan 2019 20:03:15 +0000

Wow! That was a tough one.