Comments on: How To Help Your Loved One Face a Bully

By: Margie Kilmain

Margie Kilmain — Sun, 06 Oct 2019 23:26:13 +0000

Choices? So you either report the bullying to HR or you endure it? What’s wrong with getting in front of the person and calling them out on their behavior to their face? Why not use firm and appropriate language that belittles the abuser’s behavior, by comparing them to a derogatory type animal of some kind. Or ask them if they talk that way to their wife, husband or child. Then add, “I don’t like it, don’t treat me like that way.” Or I’ll report you to the Washington Post.

By: Julinda

Julinda — Tue, 24 Sep 2019 16:58:56 +0000

Excellent advice, Steve! I’ve been in situations before where I felt bullied, and I probably will be again. I will try to remember the advice in this article. Thank you!

By: Jill Wright

Jill Wright — Sat, 21 Sep 2019 20:37:11 +0000

Instead of focusing on what he doesn’t have control over, what happens when he focuses on what he can control? What we focus on grows. You mention “he has only two choices”, what if there were other choices? What might those be?

“He has limited job opportunities due to his age” focuses on a perceived limitation. What opportunities are out there where his experience and work ethic will be highly valued and abundantly rewarded?

Given that he can’t change the bully, how can he think, feel and act that is about him and an outcome he most desires and not about the bully? What are things that he does at work that the bully doesn’t impact?

If he could imagine a scenario where he would be content without the bully changing, what might that look like?

By: Steve Willis

Steve Willis — Wed, 18 Sep 2019 22:26:52 +0000

In reply to Jen. And it's so hard to do when you think you'll have to do it alone, and face the repercussions on your own.

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 18 Sep 2019 21:27:14 +0000

Bullies need to be stood up to. It is the only thing they understand.

By: Steve Willis

Steve Willis — Wed, 18 Sep 2019 19:57:29 +0000

In reply to Patsy. So true! It takes it out of a "me vs them" type of situation and gives some nice facts for people to consider.

By: Patsy

Patsy — Wed, 18 Sep 2019 18:39:49 +0000

Document, document, document! Keep a written record of each instance of bullying–the date/time, description of the situation, what was said, who may have witnessed the incident, etc. Having evidence of recurring issues may empower you to take action and will bolster your case with HR. You regain control!

By: Jack

Jack — Wed, 18 Sep 2019 17:05:45 +0000

I think this is very common for older workers that are capable but somebody wants to move out. Make the situation miserable until they leave. Responding with kindness is simply seen as weakness by the bully. I think a very tiny fraction of these situations result in workplace violence. Somebody has to pay the cost of the “wrong” that is occurring. Unfortunately, it is usually the one being bullied. We all need to quit expecting life to be fair. It is not. That perspective can help the bullied endure these situations.