Comments on: How to Help Others Help Themselves

By: Deb Olejownik

Deb Olejownik — Mon, 07 Sep 2015 21:22:23 +0000

Interesting read. The thought process behind the decision to give or loan money is both insightful and influential.

By: Kathleen Gregg

Kathleen Gregg — Thu, 03 Sep 2015 11:52:28 +0000

Looking back, I can remember asking my parents for temporary free housing, while I saved for “something”. Fortunately for us all, it was only twice, and for just a few weeks. Still, it was a temporary strain on us all. Living with others’ behaviors (not situations) impacts our own sense of worth and alters self worth. A wise person suggested a statement that has stayed with me: “This doesn’t work for me.” This provides me self-care.

By: Sarah Dickinson

Sarah Dickinson — Thu, 03 Sep 2015 03:32:20 +0000

It seems like the son need to learn how to budget. There are many free budget forms on the internet. Most people don’t like the word budget, but it is simple enough – list the money you earn, the money you spend. Maybe Mom can sit down with him and help him with a budget.

By: Eric Olsen

Eric Olsen — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 17:45:32 +0000

This really struck home. When trying to truly help people who are continually getting in their own way, it is so important to keep focused on this higher objective.

I really appreciate this article.

By: Wes Jones

Wes Jones — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 14:54:57 +0000

Sometimes I tell my children no when they request something from me. They will often respond “don’t you love me?” I tell them that I love them in a way that helps them be responsible.

By: Evelyn Kropp

Evelyn Kropp — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 13:02:58 +0000

Mr Grenny: Addressing this exact situation in book form would most certainly be another NYT bestseller to add to your list. There are many of us out here watching our adult children struggle and trying to figure out what is best.
Apron Strings: In addition to the future book of Mr Grenny, I highly recommend “How to really love your adult child” By Chapman and Ross.

By: kim mechling

kim mechling — Wed, 02 Sep 2015 12:53:20 +0000

Was this EVER timely! I have a child who is extremely intelligent but has no common sense. She has a masters in mathematics, but through poor choices cannot manage to make ends meet on a teachers salary. I was, of course, Mom the Savior and wanted to make sure she and my two grandsons had what they needed, to the tune of a HUGE amount of credit card debt that I am now responsible for. I finally said enough was enough (after the damage was done) and told her she needed to figure things out on her own. The funny thing is, she told me she wished I HADN’T helped her because she WANTED to figure it out herself, but was appreciative that I had. I think the biggest thing is knowing when you are an enabler and when you are a helper. I am a nurse by trade, and nurses are givers. We want to help everyone, but you cannot DO everything for everyone, nor can you be all things to all people. My only regret is that I didn’t see this a year ago!