Comments on: Sharing Bad News with an Aging Parent

By: How To Gently Tell Your Parents Any Bad News – Growing Gray USA

Thu, 27 Oct 2022 01:18:30 +0000

[…] you break the news, give your parents time to absorb it, People react differently to bad news. Your parents may get angry, they may start crying, or they […]

]]>

By: Lorri

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:35:16 +0000

A friend recently shared a great suggestion with me, to help in handling this very situation. When his Aunt Mary could no longer drive herself the family convinced her to give up her car. They sold it for her and handed her the money in an envelope with the words, “This is now your cab money.” Needless to say, even an older model vehicle can fund a lot of cab rides, and it seems like a great way to help “Aunt Mary” reframe her situation.

]]>

By: TS

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 01:46:09 +0000

Dementia is a difficult condition to deal with. The state kept licensing our grandmother until we finally wrote a letter. The state took away her license and they became the “bad guy.” Some relatives are very stubborn and it is hard to build trust with them when they have dementia.

]]>

By: Stephen Ruten

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:01:10 +0000

Kerry,

Thank you again for another excellent piece of advice. I will be using it shortly with my Step-Mom. At 61 years old I understand how it would feel to lose this freedom. I realize that in a few years it will be my turn to listen to my kids. I like the idea of paying a cab company an annual fee!

Thank you,
Stephen

]]>

By: Colleen Cumby

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 16:51:59 +0000

I have a father with Dementia. He received the official diagnosis earlier this year. He is still able to drive, but we will eventually have this and other difficult conversations with him. Although Dad and I have been close, we have sometimes had a combative relationship. For the last couple of years, realizing that his condition is deteriorating, my sister and I have worked at building the trust in our relationship with him by making sure all our interactions have integrity, by not interfering in areas of his life where he still has control, and by gently and kindly supporting him in areas of his life where he’s losing control — making sure we step in on time and with his permission. Building and maintaining trust, even with or especially with a parent with diminished capacity, makes the tough conversations easier. When my sister or I come to Dad with a concern, he knows that we have the Mutual Purpose of keeping him independent and comfortable and happy for as long as possible while still keeping him safe. This makes him much more receptive to the tough things we have to tell him. Trust and a shared purpose is so important with loved ones and having it greases the wheels of Crucial Conversations.

]]>

By: MJ

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 13:50:29 +0000

As a resource under #4 – “Use facts to explain your concerns,” I would add consulting with a driving rehabilitation specialist, which is an occupational therapist specifically trained to work with elderly drivers. ABC World News Tonight recently did a segment on this – see http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MedicineCuttingEdge/helping-senior-citizens-wheel/Story?id=8632985&page=1 . Click on the “driving rehabilitation specialist” link in the article and then click on Membership Directory on the left to find driving rehabilitation specialists by location.

]]>