Mild Manic Depressives (especially those with rare depression) under a psychiatrists care and stable medication can be a real asset to a company. The company gets a lot of work out of them. I am one of these people.

My supervisor and team leads discussed my problems directly with me but I did not have a clue what they were talking about. I was hurt and responded with lots of tears. Without my supervisor having the courage to get advice from the company medical department and medical giving me a choice of keeping my job or getting help, I honestly did not know I had an illness. I knew something was wrong: people avoided me, cut me off in conversations, and excluded me. My work ethic and quality were excellent, but my relationships were terrible.

I probably have been Manic Depressive since I was born, but now I know what is wrong. I fight to stay on my medications, but I still have to be very careful in meetings not to interrupt and at all times say only what is needed to communicate ideas. And the best blessing: my relationships are better.

First, let me state that I am a reformed “detailed, background giver.” Before you get started, you need to acknowledge the value that this team member brings to the team. Often the devil is in the details and background information can provide insight into solving complex problems.

This being said, let me put in my two-cents worth of advice. My reformation started when my manager confronted me in weekly staff meetings. She did it in a most polite way. “Rebecca, I need to know XXX about XXX, can you give me the Cliff Notes version?” Now, it helped that we already had a solid relationship and I do not tend to take things personally. I understood exactly what she was saying. Is there someone who facilitates your meetings? The facilitator should take responsibility to manage the meetings to keep your coworker from monopolizing the conversation. In my case, it was my boss.

Here are some other phrases that may be helpful in keeping your colleague on track:

“I hate to interrupt, but we really need to close this meeting out. Can we pick up on this conversation next time?”

At the beginning of the meeting, open with: “Let’s hold this meeting to one hour. Everyone needs to limit your comments so we can get through the whole agenda.”

There is hope. I am now reformed (and thankful my boss confronted me on this issue). Before I comment, I always ask “How much detail do you need on this issue?” Occassionally, I get overzealous in providing information, so I sometimes have to apologize after the fact (“Sorry everyone, I’m sure that was way more information than you needed”).

Just remember that everyone will be better off if you do confront your colleague. So, just do it!

“I need your help with something. In our last meeting we had ten minutes to cover several of the agenda items. We took about twenty minutes on two of the issues which made the meeting run over by half an hour.We (or “I”, if I am the facilitator or their superior)need each team member’s help to make sure we spend our time well and help everyone stay on schedule for their day. What do you think about limiting the time for responses to each item and keeping the background information to a minimum?”

This puts the emphasis on what a team needs and how each team member can help.