Comments on: How to Argue Civilly

By: Leadership | Pearltrees

Leadership | Pearltrees — Mon, 05 Apr 2021 12:01:50 +0000

[…] How to Argue Civilly – Crucial Skills by VitalSmarts. Dear Joseph, My father often peppers his speech with declarations like “Obama is a Marxist” or “Eighty percent of Americans don’t pay taxes.” I can sometimes leave the conversation and look up details of what he calls “facts,” but in the moment I don’t have any tangible information; just a deep-rooted intuition that he is repeating something he read. In most instances, I haven’t researched the topic at hand and he can quote a source, which leaves me extremely uncomfortable and looking for a way to escape his monologue. What can I say in response to these (sometimes outlandish) claims? Signed, Swimming in Story Dear Swimming, Yours is a common complaint these days. The first thing I encourage you to do is humble yourself. The sobering truth is that we don’t arrive at many of our most cherished opinions starting with a blank page. […]

By: Leisha

Leisha — Wed, 17 Oct 2018 15:28:09 +0000

Great article, very timely advice. Thank you!

By: Patricia

Patricia — Fri, 12 Oct 2018 21:56:30 +0000

I grew up in a politically aware and engaged family. We loved to argue, and sometimes it got fierce. Why did we live to argue another day? First rule: do not disparage your opponent or the subject of the argument. This is the weapon of those who have nothing but emotion, usually visceral hate, to substanstiate what they claim as truth. Second, use only current events to make your point. You may see it differently than your opponent, but it is today’s news, not from a day before one of you was born. It was exhilarating to vehemently express our POV. I pity those who have never done it.

By: Stratocaster

Stratocaster — Thu, 11 Oct 2018 00:31:04 +0000

As Dave Barry so trenchantly put it, “43.7% of statistics are made up on the spot.”

By: Gregory Grubbs

Gregory Grubbs — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 19:46:44 +0000

Great blog, and usable suggestions.

By: Nita Zelenak

Nita Zelenak — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 19:06:51 +0000

In reply to ben v. Wonderful article. Helpful suggestions. Thank you.

By: ben v

ben v — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 18:36:34 +0000

I really appreciated these techniques to both avoid arguments and to better relate to others. I find that this type of discourse and discussion seem to be lost in the headlines of today (see, there I am, not citing a source for my observation “fact”) and we gravitate towards sides adhering to tribal loyalties. It would seem to me that these are placed above a conscious goal of getting to the correct conclusion, regardless of “source” – much like the college team study cited in the article. I hope that I can use these approaches to have more reasoned discussion; especially in light of the expected family gatherings in the upcoming months! 🙂

By: Caroldavison@gmail.com

Caroldavison@gmail.com — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 18:26:08 +0000

I’m a member of an question group. However people ask questions like why do most women, men, religious, religion1, religion 2, atheists, cats, dogs, blah blah blah. I ask them where they got their statistics; or what does most, or force mean. Some look them up. Some continue to ask why people are forcing others to…

By: Phil Brown

Phil Brown — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 18:12:56 +0000

I’ve recently read of two exercises that may help us with this.

1) Read a book that champions a point of view that you disagree with. Conservatives read books written by conservatives and liberals read books by liberals. Change it up. Read a book written by the other “side.”

2) I read that in law school the law students are required to do an exercises where they argue both sides of a case. It helps them to see things from the other point of view. I think we could all benefit from doing this.