Comments on: Crucial Conversations with a Defensive Spouse https://cruciallearning.com/blog/crucial-conversations-with-a-defensive-spouse/ VitalSmarts is now Crucial Learning Wed, 02 Jun 2021 05:43:23 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 By: Boosting Financial Freedom - NAWO https://cruciallearning.com/blog/crucial-conversations-with-a-defensive-spouse/#comment-5795 Wed, 02 Jun 2021 05:43:23 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=6976#comment-5795 […] response to the questions asked during the webinar: How to advocate for your needs with your spouse Crucial conversations with a defensive spouse Being at odds with your spouse A great article by CHOICE on Raiz Personal Finance Apps Couples that […]

]]> By: abdelazeezsobh https://cruciallearning.com/blog/crucial-conversations-with-a-defensive-spouse/#comment-5794 Wed, 12 Feb 2020 12:50:29 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=6976#comment-5794 The skills and knowledge that people experience can change a life. This book will help you in your personal and professional relationships. Crucial conversations are not about confronting, avoiding conflicts or getting away with it. It’s about how to help yourself and others stay in dialogue so you can get the results you want. It’s about learning, finding the truth and strengthening relationships.

]]> By: Yvonne C https://cruciallearning.com/blog/crucial-conversations-with-a-defensive-spouse/#comment-5793 Thu, 18 May 2017 20:58:02 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=6976#comment-5793 Loved the advice to “Got a Minute”. I to have struggled with communicating with my partner only to have things left unresolved. It is frustrating but after taking a good look in the mirror, I found that I was not speaking to him in a respectful manor. I was attacking and not letting him understand the issue at hand, just my complaints. We both now are working on better communication and I start off with some ground rules I would like so I can be heard.

]]> By: Need Help https://cruciallearning.com/blog/crucial-conversations-with-a-defensive-spouse/#comment-5792 Fri, 05 May 2017 19:17:08 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=6976#comment-5792 In reply to jacque williams.

That was going to be my comment. I’ve gone to a marriage retreat to work on communication with my spouse and yet, if I get upset about anything (not yelling, just not happy), he immediately justifies it and then points to something I’ve done that he’s not happy about. I’ve been working on this for 2 1/2 years now. Any advice?

]]> By: jacque williams https://cruciallearning.com/blog/crucial-conversations-with-a-defensive-spouse/#comment-5791 Wed, 03 May 2017 21:31:13 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=6976#comment-5791 What about the spouse who dismisses feelings or justifies their erroneous behaviour? Or who feels their actions are only a response to yours, and therefore anything goes?

]]> By: Teresa H https://cruciallearning.com/blog/crucial-conversations-with-a-defensive-spouse/#comment-5790 Wed, 03 May 2017 19:06:31 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=6976#comment-5790 The no interrupting ground rule is a good rule for any converstion. thank you.

]]> By: AJ McFall https://cruciallearning.com/blog/crucial-conversations-with-a-defensive-spouse/#comment-5789 Wed, 03 May 2017 17:24:33 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=6976#comment-5789 Wow, great answer. Thought-provoking and helpful in every single point. It really helps to see those examples of how I/we might express each aspect.
thank you!!

]]> By: Chason Hayes https://cruciallearning.com/blog/crucial-conversations-with-a-defensive-spouse/#comment-5788 Wed, 03 May 2017 15:29:19 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=6976#comment-5788 Read the book Feeling Good Together by David Burns. It appears that your conversations with your wife are you trying to “help” your wife be better for your needs but she perceives them as critical in nature. She may not want to change. Ask her once and forget it and live with it. Anymore is nagging and no one likes a nag. If she quickly agrees ie 45 second conversation its not because she agrees but because she is trying to avoid conflict and just wants you to shut up and leave her alone. You have much deeper marriage issues than you realize and I recommend connection based counseling. Women don’t generally complain until its too late and they have checked out of the marriage. The husband is usually the last to know.

]]> By: Lainey https://cruciallearning.com/blog/crucial-conversations-with-a-defensive-spouse/#comment-5787 Wed, 03 May 2017 14:26:19 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=6976#comment-5787 Such a timely post! This very morning, I had just pulled out a copy of the book “Getting The Love You Want”, which also teaches communication techniques, because my boyfriend and I are now at the point where many our differences are coming to light (5 months of dating). Time to pull out my copy of “Crucial Conversations, too!”. Thank you for helping the world become a more understanding place 🙂

]]> By: Kathy Jahnz https://cruciallearning.com/blog/crucial-conversations-with-a-defensive-spouse/#comment-5786 Wed, 03 May 2017 13:57:36 +0000 http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialskills/?p=6976#comment-5786 Timing can also be critical to holding these types of conversations. My husband isn’t one to talk much but when something comes to mind he wants to discuss it on his terms. There are days that I’ve had a rough day at work or am in the middle of doing something when he suddenly wants to discuss something. Flexibility on the part of both partners is certainly necessary but a bit of sensitivity as to timing could be beneficial. Scheduling a time to have discussions that is mutually agreeable to both parties could be helpful.

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