https://cruciallearning.com/blog/is-it-ever-appropriate-to-move-to-silence-2/ VitalSmarts is now Crucial Learning Thu, 24 Feb 2022 17:41:45 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 https://cruciallearning.com/blog/is-it-ever-appropriate-to-move-to-silence-2/#comment-1841 Thu, 22 Sep 2011 17:18:19 +0000 http://www.crucialskills.com/?p=1789#comment-1841 Thanks George for your comment! To answer your question, I would agree with what Candace advised: take an hour or two to collect your thoughts (also helps to calm down a little bit) and find a private space to talk. You could say something like, “I appreciate you talking with me about this, but from what I’m gathering we’re not resolving the issue/coming up with a resolution. Let’s take a breather and pick this back up in an hour.” If they are not willing or seem to have that “just win” attitude then simply saying, “Well, I don’t think we’re coming to an agreement on this as much as I would like, but I’ll accept that we disagree on this and move on.” Hope this helps!

]]> https://cruciallearning.com/blog/is-it-ever-appropriate-to-move-to-silence-2/#comment-1840 Fri, 02 Sep 2011 19:18:33 +0000 http://www.crucialskills.com/?p=1789#comment-1840 Ms. Bertotti’s response is well thought out, and I tend to agree with her, especially the practical first step of discerning the real cruciality of the conversation (i.e. the issue and relationship at hand). She then offers several very relevant cautions that can have significant impact on the “Three Rs” — Relationships, Results, and Reputation. In short, I interpret and endorse those cautions as 1) My silence may allow others to determine my meaning; 2) Smart communicators quickly assess their motives, emotions, respect level, and safety, to evaluate their readiness for and approach to initiating dialog; 3) Pausing long enough to establish appropriate place, privacy — if warranted, and motives will help a healthy approach to dialog and a positive impact on the Three Rs. Infrequently but almost inevitably, despite our best efforts, we encounter someone who does not have healthy, productive motives, and clearly chooses to undermine safety, argue every point, and essentially fight for some undefined “win”. I must admit that on occasion, that presents for me a challenge and perhaps another question — how do we know when it’s time to respectfully end the conversation and move on? Thanks for making me think Candace…good stuff!

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