Comments on: Balancing Safety in a Group

By: Vida Luzadder

Vida Luzadder — Fri, 08 Sep 2023 16:13:22 +0000

Good article. We also do another thing when a conversation gets out of hand, goes on too long or gets off discussion. Create a fun code word to use.
We used “buttercup.” It made people giggle, but got the message across to get back to business.

By: Cynthia Vermillion-Foster

Cynthia Vermillion-Foster — Sun, 24 Apr 2016 13:58:26 +0000

Thanks Joseph. This provides a much deeper and connected way of engaging people in mutual agreements and holding them accountable to them.

By: Brooke Kozak, PHR

Brooke Kozak, PHR — Wed, 20 Apr 2016 16:41:02 +0000

I always enjoy the VitalSmarts newsletter, but I thought this one was especially good. I love the proactive approach and the specific tools provided. This is very useful advice. Thank you!

By: Adonia Dickson, PHR

Adonia Dickson, PHR — Wed, 20 Apr 2016 15:19:18 +0000

WOW!!! This was fabulous and some very useful advise. I can’t wait to put all 3 suggestions into practice. Asking for permission is a game changer!

By: Brenda

Brenda — Wed, 20 Apr 2016 13:03:40 +0000

I’m reminded of an episode of The Andy Griffith Show, when the choir director made a blanket statement to the church choir about someone being off key. The entire choir knew that it was Deputy Barney Fife who was singing off key, but Barney didn’t realize the director was talking about him. He even offered to walk around during the song to try to spot the offender. Don’t preach to the choir.

By: S.

S. — Wed, 20 Apr 2016 12:53:33 +0000

Both scatter shot comments to a group and the method of asking ‘permission’ to coach someone seem like they would put people’s backs up. A better method would be Gladys’ approach or perhaps saying, ‘That’s a good idea. Let’s put that down. Then we can hear some other views and come back to your comment for more discussion.’ Write the comments on a whiteboard or something and save a few minutes at the end of the seminar to discuss. That way the person won’t feel ignored or shut down, but the rest of the group can also be heard.

By: Donna

Donna — Wed, 20 Apr 2016 12:42:54 +0000

This letter/response is very timely for me as I just had a similar issue in a focus group. I lightly reminded everyone that we’d agreed to share ideas in headlines, not paragraphs, and asked the specific person if she could work on that a bit. I could see that she tried to modify her behavior as she continued to participate. However, in the future I’m going to build in your second step (permission) to make it clear at the outset how I might handle it. Thanks for the helpful tip!!!

By: Glenn Dickens

Glenn Dickens — Wed, 20 Apr 2016 00:26:12 +0000

Love it!
Great feedback.

By: Gladys

Gladys — Tue, 19 Apr 2016 23:05:03 +0000

I agree that the shotgun method (shoot in the crowd hoping to hit the right target) is disingenuous and can offend people you weren’t aiming at and be ignored by those you are. If you addressed her behavior in front of everyone that could be why she felt hurt. Sometimes it’s better if at all possible to “take a short break” and speak to the person one on one instead of in front of the whole group. If done in front of the group essentially you did single her out. Appropriate if she was the only one causing the problem. If she FELT she wasn’t the only offender that could also contribute to the feeling of being picked on. Follow-on discussions should be done to determine if it was just being called out in front of everyone, and/or feeling picked on for the same behavior (perception not necessarily reality) that you let slide in others.