I agree that it isn’t “fair”. I think of the problem as involving “the seed and the soil”. The “seed” is the individual who is experiencing bias, and wants to succeed, no matter how unwelcoming the organization may be. The “soil” is the organization, that should want to become more welcoming to everyone.
In this case, my advice was to the “seed” the individual who finds herself in unwelcoming soil. It may take heroic actions for her to be successful. This is an unfair situation.
I did not offer any advice to the leaders who run the school where she is employed. They obviously need to do a lot of work to change their organization to be more welcoming, so that these unfair situations are eliminated.
Thanks for pointing out this important point!

I agree that whenever you are under a microscope, people will discover you have flaws–and may focus on them. In the worst case, their actions become even more negative, and create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
However, I want to draw a bright line between Intentional and Unintentional Bias.
Intentional Bias is very real and damaging. Collect the evidence. Document the places, times, people, and circumstances where it occurs. Use quotes to capture what is said. Involve others as witnesses whenever possible. Then take your evidence to HR.
Unintentional Bias is far more pervasive, and can also be incredibly hurtful. But I’m a lot more confident it can be solved–or at least managed, using some of the skills I discussed here.

I agree, in part. When you put a microscope on someone, you will see flaws. It’s inevitable. When you treat them as flawed, you can create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
However, I want to distinguish between intentional and unintentional bias. Conscious, purposeful discrimination is alive and well, and needs to be treated as a discipline/legal problem. Collect the evidence. Document the places, times, and circumstances. Use quotes to capture what was said. If possible, get verification from witnesses. Then take your evidence to HR.
I was assuming that that the bias in this particular question was more unintentional and unconscious. In these cases I’m more optimistic that it can be solved.
Have you seen it differently?

Yes, criticism is hard to take, and believing it is bias, not fact, could be a defense. I hope the advice I gave for responding to criticism (avoid defending, seek clarity, and go public with your changes) will help.

Thanks for your comment.
I see a difference between intentional and unintentional bias. Intentional, purposeful bias needs to be addressed as a disciplinary matter. Document times, places, and circumstances. Use quotes of what was said. Compile this evidence, and bring it to HR. Have a “Plan B” in case HR doesn’t want to take action.
I assumed in this question that the bias was unintentional, probably unconscious, which doesn’t make it less painful.

I’d tread a bit carefully on this suggestion if it is not already standard practice for the team. If the “men” don’t already do this, they should, but you doing it, seemingly out of the blue, may have them seeing you as trying to show them up or rock the boat.

Perhaps start out with follow-up calls to a few people you’ve completed work for to make sure everything is OK. When you’ve done that for a bit, it won’t seem as far out of the ordinary if you then set up time to talk about almost anything that may have come up in conversation with one or more of them, you’ll just be doing more follow-up.