Thanks for the thoughtful response and ideas. I hear this question every time I lead a Crucial Conversations workshop. Sometimes I even raise or repeat the question at the opportune time during the workshop because it is such a critical issue…we all face those interactions with people who appear not to be as reasonable, rational, and decent as we might like them to be.

In addition to the “put yourself in their shoes” advice you so aptly provided, I often point participants back to the Crucial Conversations model and core message (at least in my view) that we can only control our own actions and behaviors, but Crucial Conversations provides us with tools that create the opportunity and environment for someone else to behave reasonably, rationally, and decent.

Human free will is a powerful force, but my experience both teaching and utilizing the Crucial Conversations skills reinforce my belief that most people, when treated with kindness, respect, and honesty (which are key tenets of the training) will respond in kind.

Thanks, again.

Mike Schonherr