Agreed!

Any reason my comment wasn’t posted?

Sorry, 🙁

So far I have not seen politics brought into these posts.I know it may feel good to vent about a political situation but that isn’t really very helpful to the readers.

For a lot of workers leaving is not an option especially in today’s economy.

Tell that to the “Republicans”

“I want to make sure we work well together, so I’d like to take time to really understand how you see our working relationship—especially your views about how open and/or closed-minded you believe I am.”

Especially the “you believe” part. Remember “you” statements versus “I” statements. If you come at someone sounding like this, they won’t hear anything else you have to say.

I would recommend the deferential route. Something more like,

“I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me. I’ve given a lot of thought to my recent review and I’d like to take some time to really understand how I can be a better asset to you and the team. For starters, I would never intentionally be close-minded. I think being accountable for various legal ramifications makes me very cautious and that can definitely be misconstrued as close-minded. Where I may think I’m doing what’s right for the company, others may think I’m just shutting them down. It occurred to me that I may not even realize I’m doing it. This is where I could really use your guidance. Any advice you could give me on a better way to contribute to the team or maybe some examples of ways I could have better communicated my position would be extremely helpful.”

This is when he/she says they can’t think of an example – most bosses will not be able to on the spot, remember they’re juggling quite a few personalities and to be frank, they don’t think of you as much as you think they do. It’s not personal. Most people don’t think of us as much as we think they do. To repeatedly berate your boss for specifics is petty and borderline combative. So when your boss says he/she can’t think of an example, you say…

“I completely understand, and I am working on being more aware of my actions. If you could possibly help me identify situations where I may not realize I’m doing this, privately of course, I would sincerely appreciate it.”

This crucial conversation has demonstrated self-awareness and accountability, while putting the ball in your boss’ court to help guide you. There should be no surprises in your next review because if he/she comes back and says you’re being close-minded, he/she didn’t hold up their part of the agreement. As your boss and mentor, it is in their best interest to coach you into being the best asset you can be.

Thoughts?

In these cases, it might mean switching to a different type of discussion–how am I being evaluated and is it really accurate.

I think people often forget they always have a choice as to how to respond–even when it’s leaving the job, or choosing to remain and deal with it. And I think most people revert to the “worst case scenario” strategy first.