Comments on: Pablo, Where Are You?

By: Laura

Laura — Thu, 26 Mar 2015 14:47:44 +0000

The author’s story about his granddaughter, Rachel, prompted me to send along an idea that our elementary school came up with in the last few years. The concept is a “buddy bench” where anyone can come sit if they are looking for a playmate. It might be a new kid or just a lonely kid. My son is sometimes the latter and has used it to good effect. The playground monitors keep an eye out for opportunities to connect kids with some friendly age-mates and this helps cultivate new friendships. I’m sure staffing is a challenge at our school as it is with others, but this visible spot makes this an easy way to spot those who are looking for a friend. I thought I would pass this idea along on the chance it could be shared more broadly.

By: bean q

bean q — Thu, 26 Mar 2015 05:43:32 +0000

“For years we’ve helped young people study math, biology, and literature. What a blessing it would be if we started teaching them how to bond with peers, strengthen groups, and make life-long friends.”
i told my buddy recently that the vitalsmarts newsletters will be required reading in the emotional/social intelligence curriculum for my children.

By: Wendy Mardak

Wendy Mardak — Wed, 25 Mar 2015 16:42:02 +0000

Thanks so much for this article, Kerry. I have an 8th grader and a 5th grader. Though they don’t overly use electronics, video games, or cell phones, they do have access to them. I have noticed this “social fitness” deficiency over the last few years with my own children and others and, I agree, it appears electronic devices ARE making it difficult for some kids to make human connections and maintain them once they do. Like math, science, reading, and writing, I think its important our schools look at adding “social fitness” to their curriculum. What will we as humans do if we lose our ability to socialize, empathize, and stop from being lonely?

By: Wendy Mardak

Wendy Mardak — Wed, 25 Mar 2015 16:33:20 +0000

In reply to Jorge Assis.

HI Jorge,
I’d be very interested in any resources you have in your “collected material”. I’m thinking about facilitating a club for 6th-9th graders this summer on Social Fitness and How to Make & Keep Friends. What would you recommend?
Wendy

By: Jocelyn Ludwigsen

Jocelyn Ludwigsen — Wed, 25 Mar 2015 16:28:15 +0000

Hi Kerry, my husband and I have spoken recently about how we are raising a generation with no social skills! They want to text, play games, talk on the phone – how are they going to read body language if they don’t/won’t congregate. Our parents worried about us and now we worry about ours. The big difference between the two generations is, our children are always connected to the net and they don’t have to see each other in the “real” world. I have read stories of how, for example, a job applicant brought their helicopter mother to an interview! OMG!! Your books and stories are relevant and timely for the newest generation. Keep up the good work!

By: Cat

Cat — Wed, 25 Mar 2015 16:07:18 +0000

Dear Kerry, your story brings light. How many of us fabricate what we think is an acceptable excuse, rather than being in our truth? We could ask why, but it’s obvious … facing judges, being told another’s terms and the part we need to play in their script. Thank you for sharing this experience and deep gratitude and appreciation for cracking the shell of a veil of time. I hope your friend reconnects with you. In the meantime I wonder if you know what a difference your story has made to the world of those who read this one. 😉

By: Jorge Assis

Jorge Assis — Wed, 25 Mar 2015 15:00:05 +0000

Thanks for this story/article. Few minutes ago, before reading your post, I was just talking to my colleagues about what I was planning to do during the next two weeks I booked for holidays. I have a 11 years old son who is in the autism spectrum. One of his biggest challenges is related with socializing with other children. I have been reading several books on the subject of “how to make and keep friends” (just re-read the famous Dale Carnegie classics, among other titles) and collected material enough to produce a kind of a course I will start to give to my son on a more structured way. The main goal is to help him to manage all the difficulties he is facing now with his social skills. I liked the idea of using clubs you have mentioned. My son is already having trumpet, performing and dancing lessons. He is also kin to learn piano, what I will definitely help him to develop. My hope is that he will be able to use those instruments for an easier integration on other activities related with bands and clubs to get more friends. But he will need to master the finesse of how to talk, when to talk, small talk versus opinion discussions, how to show interest for the others, etc. That will be also my renewed journey as a father and instructor.

Regards,

Jorge Assis

By: Linda Edelman

Linda Edelman — Wed, 25 Mar 2015 14:33:30 +0000

Your messages, and advice on dealing with issues, have been inspiring to me- God bless you for doing this and keep up the good work!