Comments on: Improving Relationships with In-laws

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 10:18:46 +0000

To Carol: I am so very sorry to hear of your painful situation. I too had troubles with my mother-in-law starting from the wedding plans. When we had our son, I faced a decision: keep him from her and play the same evil power games, or facilitate their relationship, difficult as it may be. And it was tough, I wasn't always gracious, we struggled to understand one another. But this is why I love this style of communicating. It's easy to see it in writing, but in real life, it doesn't really have to come out perfectly. We just try and somehow it helps. And we can keep trying. Your grandchildren would love to know you, you are a part of them! You have history to share. Don't give up on them....even if it seems like your son isn't supportive of your time with them, keep trying! Build on the relationship with your daughter-in-law! You have keys to their experience of life, and your persistence and loving communication will be the finest example of the love you have for them all. @Carole Benson

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 09:09:22 +0000

This article is exceptional and could apply to so many different issues! It is like a Crucial Conversations crash course! Thank you for this extremely helpful and insightful information. Thank you very much!!

By: Carole Benson

Carole Benson — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 15:01:10 +0000

I understand and agree with your recommendations. I struggle with a similar situation, but I am the mother in law who raised my son as a single parent with little support from my ex-husband and he didn’t see my son until my son whent to college in his town – going ther becasue we could get in-state tuition. I am there for my son and granddaughter and daughter-in-law, yet my ex-husband has now become the great parent. In addition my daughter-in-law’s mother has played the same games as listed above. I live in SC and they are all in MA. I asked my son whether he wanted me to come up for my granddaughter’s communion or birthday. He selected communion and I flew up only to have my daughter-in-laws mother take my granddaughter for the weekend – she lives 1 hour away. I now love thme from a distance. The hurt is too much.

By: Nita Zelenak

Nita Zelenak — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 13:02:25 +0000

Excellent, helpful article. We so quickly fall into telling villain stories that blind us to mutual goals. Then we jump into the other ditch of turning off our brains and “assuming the best.” These examples of how to apply the principles you teach to actual situations continue to deepen my understanding of them and move them from theory to practice. Thank you. What you do is so needed!

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Tue, 12 Oct 2010 17:31:25 +0000

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