Comments on: Dealing with Personal Issues at Work

By: Employees are More than Just Human Resources ~ Positive Forward Movement

Employees are More than Just Human Resources ~ Positive Forward Movement — Fri, 11 Nov 2016 00:13:48 +0000

[…] just lost a parent" or "forget about your child's broken arm". If employees are having tough times (https://www.crucialskills.com/2012/04/dealing-with-personal-issues-at-work-2/), treat them with understanding and support. To not do so impacts on their mental health. It's bad […]

By: grizzly bear mom

grizzly bear mom — Wed, 02 May 2012 15:30:03 +0000

In 2006 someone I loved like a brother lost parental rights to his four children and went to prison. I cried at work every day for two weeks until my physical therapist told me to take leave which I did. For the next 3.5 years I took 2 days off a month and drove 600 miles to take my brother’s son to see him. In the meantime I forgot to feed the dog, couldn’t find my way home from work and YES MY WORK PERFORMANCE SUFFERED! My boss called me in. Although there was shame involved in my brother’s circumstances, I explained the situation. Wisely, my boss told me that I was killing myself, I should spend less time with my brother, suggested I see a counselor, and reminded me that I was responsible for my work production; all of which were absolutely right and appropriate to say. He also gave me tips on how I could meet suspense such as developing time lines and putting everything in outlook which was very kind. I did as he suggested, my situation improve which made me feel better AND my WORK PERFORMANCE IMPROVED which also made me feel better. Sometimes all that have control over is filling in your time sheet in an accurate and timely manner, and the ability to successfully do so is a highpoint of your day. I had a much better relationship with my boss afterward.

By: Mark Heinze

Mark Heinze — Wed, 02 May 2012 01:09:12 +0000

Dear Kerry,

I just wanted to say that your answer to the boss who was concerned about the employee going through the divorce was thoughtful and I enjoyed the way you responded to him. This man sounds like a passionate and caring manager who would be an asset to any company.

M. Heinze

By: Tammie

Tammie — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 15:18:10 +0000

Great advice. She should take her phone calls off the clock however. I apploud the concern of the employer (wish I had one like this because my personal problems are ones like time off for my childs surgery). I’m glad that there are good employers and I think once the employee is aware of the issue he/she will be co-operative.

By: Bruce Wilkinson

Bruce Wilkinson — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 23:40:07 +0000

I question that “your goal is to balance her needs with the job requirements.” I would nuance this differently. The goal should be to meet both her needs and the job requirements. A significant subset of employees interpret “balancing” to mean that their needs should prioritized against the job requirements and they get to pick the most important. The correct answer to, “which is most important?” is, “both.” You (the employee) need to keep your job and you need to manage your personal crises effectively. So, I like the option of working extra time to ensure that her productivity doesn’t fall off. I also disagree that this can’t be managed in a “clocked” environment. She can take herself off the clock if she is engaged in personal business and manage those interruptions around important co-worker activities. The kind of employee you value will appreciate the opportunity to keep productivity up so you continue to value her enough to make these accommodations. If she doesn’t feel that she should be required to meet job standards during her period of stress, then that may call for a different conversation.

By: Adrian

Adrian — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 21:19:24 +0000

I think this is a sensitive and compassionate way to deal with a difficult situation. If I were this employee, I would be apologetic and appreciative that the manager brought it to my attention gently rather than giving me a big smackdown when I’m already in an emotional state. I would be inclined to buckle down and try to get my focus back onto work and limit the personal stuff to just the most critical items. Divorce is a devastating life event and everyone copes with it in their own way.

By: JM Lew

JM Lew — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 21:14:35 +0000

I was concerned that Kerry never questioned whether the employee with personal issues was accomplishing the work assigned to him/her. If the work is getting done, I don’t believe excessive calls at work are an issue unless they are disruptive to other employees. I also think that whether the employee is hourly or salaried comes in play. I just thought these were legitimate questions to ask prior to a solution.

By: Tom Ruggieri

Tom Ruggieri — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 20:05:50 +0000

You focused on this extremely important issue without one mention of employee assistance programs? Few companies are without them anymore and this is exactly the reason they exist. As you stated, people cannot divorce themselves from their personal lives and they often “bleed” into the workplace, potentially making employees very unproductive. A referral to a professional counselor who understands the right questions to ask, in combination with a good understanding of the company, often produces a very nice outcome. And the employees feel that their employer really does care about them, rather than just focusing on the mutual purpose. I could see that conversation going nowhere with a substance abuser. These problems can be very tricky and asking a supervisor to know how to deal with them by themselves is a lot to ask.

By: Homer Bartlett

Homer Bartlett — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 19:06:36 +0000

This is another great reason why Results Only Work Environments work so well, and in my opinion mesh quite well with Crucial Conversations. Making up time is fine, if time is one of her deliverables. But for many people time is not the deliverable, the deliverables are project deadlines, client calls or meetings, written reports, etc. If she’s meeting those deliverables, then it’s time to delve a little deeper into how she’s not meeting expectations.
Getting along well with, and not disrupting co-workers, can be a deliverable too, even if it’s often an unspoken one.

By: RS

RS — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:31:54 +0000

do you really want people “anxiously engaged?” Or, did you meant “eagerly engaged?”…I really don’t think anxiety is useful, in this case.