Comments on: Motivating Strangers https://cruciallearning.com/blog/motivating-strangers/ VitalSmarts is now Crucial Learning Wed, 27 Apr 2011 16:52:53 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 By: Rebecca https://cruciallearning.com/blog/motivating-strangers/#comment-1645 Wed, 27 Apr 2011 16:52:53 +0000 http://www.crucialskills.com/?p=1269#comment-1645 Such a valuable questions! I agree that there was a relationship in place that the author leveraged. That seems to be the key: with strangers, as the letter above attests, rapidly establishing a connection is the leverage to discovering their motivations/values and then being able to effectively share the natural consequences that align with those values. I’ve found that some people I coach are naturally adept at this kind of connecting and listening; others implement techniques and tools learned from coaching and life experience. Both improve their connecting and communicating just by , as the author elucidated, purposefully seeking out the motivators and having prepared how to concisely share the natural consequences. It may seem a bit practiced, and it is the first few times, but the effect is so profound you’ll find you want to get more adept so you can use the technique with ease.

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By: Charlene Sorken https://cruciallearning.com/blog/motivating-strangers/#comment-1644 Wed, 27 Apr 2011 15:29:33 +0000 http://www.crucialskills.com/?p=1269#comment-1644 Good morning. How timely your article regarding motivating strangers is, to have arrived in my inbox this morning. Why, just two days ago I myself took steps to motivate strangers by explaining natural circumstances. I have just recently moved into a lovely, 40+ condominium and the strangers in my case are the folks living above, whom I have not yet met. Below is the letter that my husband I slid under their door; the content of this letter will explain the situation and show the steps my husband and I took to address our concerns:

April 25, 2011
Hello!

Dave and Charlene Sorken in #203 here. We hope this note finds you well!
We moved to Country Gardens on February 19, 2011, as we love the building and courtyard, the location and especially unit # 203.

Since that time we have truly enjoyed our new dream home; something we have worked hard for and have been waiting for over 20 years. We do have one small concern which we wanted to bring to your attention.
With our unit being empty for 15 months previous to February 2011, you most likely became accustomed to no one living below you. As well, you may not be aware these units are not as sound proof as you believe. In the two months we have been living here, we have had many occasions when we have been surprised by thumps and bumps coming from above. As well on weekends, we hear the tell-tale sounds of little feet running to and fro over our heads, many times a day. Unfortunately, these noises sound more like galloping to us below. By the rapid pace and short stride of these running foot steps, we speculate they belong to a child. Often times, this little person can be heard jumping around as well.

Many times it sounds as though something has been dropped rather heavily on the floor over our heads, which is a bigger concern for us, as stipple has come drifting down from our ceiling on two or three of these occasions. Added to this, is the fact that one night last week, something very heavy was dropped over our heads at 2:30 am, waking us and our guests. Just last night in fact, there were two significant thumps late in the evening; one at approximately 10:15 pm and the other at 11:10 pm, both of which woke us.

We also suspect you have may have a recliner or easy chair or something similar, which is hastily closed back to an up-right position, in one swift motion, which down below is a very loud, resounding thud. We think this is from a reclining chair, as this happens several times an evening.

There is a list of reasons we chose Country Gardens as our new home; two of which are that it is reputed to be a very quiet building and also because it is a 40+ building; with no children in residence.

We have waited twenty years to find a home we love as much as do here, and when we found Country Gardens, we truly felt as though our dream had finally come true.

We know you are not aware of how much louder these thumps, bumps and thuds sound to us one floor below, so we thought we would bring this to your attention. The sounds of doors closing loudly, bathroom fans running for an hour or more at a time, heavy foot falls, running back and forth, etc., likely all seem of no consequence to you, but they are quite disrupting to us, so we wanted to let you know.

Actually you have unknowingly helped us, as we are now very conscious of what sounds we may be making that might disturb our neighbors below us on the first level, and we have taken several measures to step quietly and close doors softly, and not run our appliances too late in the evening.

As our new neighbors, we would love to meet you for a round of introductions over coffee or perhaps a glass of wine. Please feel free to come down and knock on our door at a time that works for you. We are home most evenings.

Kind regards,

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By: Tori https://cruciallearning.com/blog/motivating-strangers/#comment-1643 Wed, 27 Apr 2011 12:51:49 +0000 http://www.crucialskills.com/?p=1269#comment-1643 So it turns out that the kids weren’t strangers at all – a relationship existed that you were able to use. Still leaves me wondering, then, about how to deal with the stranger issues.

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