Comments on: Regaining Your Boss’ Trust

By: How To Handle Big Time Mess-Ups At Work | Lifehacker Australia

How To Handle Big Time Mess-Ups At Work | Lifehacker Australia — Tue, 19 Aug 2014 01:31:51 +0000

[…] a few sacrifices to please the work gods. David Maxfield at Crucial Skills describes a few ways going the extra mile can play […]

By: Crucial Skills » Regaining Your Boss’ Trust | letter to a new manager

Crucial Skills » Regaining Your Boss’ Trust | letter to a new manager — Mon, 01 Jul 2013 19:41:39 +0000

[…] Crucial Skills » Regaining Your Boss’ Trust. […]

By: Dave Ryersee

Dave Ryersee — Mon, 24 Jun 2013 22:51:11 +0000

I came back to work 2 yrs ago, after being off sick. I had made some mistakes in the first few months and was asked to slow down a little. It hurt my pride of course. I have come to learn from the experience with the help of some mentors that it was for a good reason. I have learned that I do not have all the answers. I ask appropriate questions when I need to. I do the best job I can. Above all I am honest. I also take care of my health. I can’t do a good job if I am too tired, not eating right. I get more energized by getting some exersize. Going for a walk without my cell phone is amazing! Taking some time for myself is very important. Sometimes there is a balance between a crutial conversation and letting it go and doing your job. Sometimes the trust never comes with the supervisor. The other people you work with with see your efforts. You knowing that your doing your best is better than any pat on the back.

By: Regaining Your Boss’ Trust | Motivation a...

Regaining Your Boss’ Trust | Motivation a... — Mon, 24 Jun 2013 12:24:08 +0000

[…] I am struggling to regain my supervisor's trust. I am afraid of losing my job, so I am always looking over my shoulder, wondering what she will find next. What else can I do to regain her confidenc… […]

By: Saak

Saak — Sun, 23 Jun 2013 07:04:16 +0000

Dear Trying,
Your perception of your boss may not necessarily be a reflection of her intention. (underline ‘may’)… But it takes two to tango! Assuming there is some truth in the what you feel, the best way to deal with this stuation is to be as “objective” as possible.
First, check your behavior. Start seeing neutral (not negative) picture everytime your mind says shes micromanaging. Also look at your delivery pattern, work harder to improve your results. The more your work improves, the better your perception will become
Second, look for continued meaning in your working relationship with your supervisor. Ask yourself what would you do if you were her and she were you.
Third, rev your network. Help others. If your peers talk about your elevated engagement and partnerships, your boss will start reposing more confidence in you.
Fourth, Dont overkill yourself with the thought of job loss. Do the job as if no one else could do it better than you.

By: Colleen

Colleen — Fri, 21 Jun 2013 19:09:43 +0000

I would encourage this person if they were under my supervision to know that in the beginning we all make mistakes and that is part of learning. What I tell my staff when changes to how we do our job or if they are new to the job, is to ask lots of questions, you will make mistakes but you will learn and I accept that, but know that if in 6 months you are still making these mistakes we have a problem. Helping staff to gain their confidence with their tasks is what supervisors do. One very knowledgeable successful business man that I had the fortune of hearing speak said “Did you go to work and give your staff everything they needed to do the task at hand to the best of their ability?” if you can answer yes then you have successes as a good supervisor. While we do not have control over everything we would like to give staff we can share our knowledge, be supportive, and understanding, using the tools we have to help build confidence. No one performs well when being watched like a hawk, and micromanaging creates anxiety which leads to poor productivity.

I was very distressed to see Steve’s comment as he seems like he has no understanding of human nature and life stress and needs to make an effort to understand Work-Life Balance when he will go far with getting his team to perform at their best.

By: Kate

Kate — Thu, 20 Jun 2013 13:39:51 +0000

Dear Trying,
I am both a supervisor, and someone who has a supervisor above me. I have been in my current position for 9 years, and I can tell you that sometimes it is still a learning process.

For me, two keys drivers of trust are honesty, and motive. If you are afraid of losing your job…tell your supervisor exactly that. She should be able to tell you where you stand. If performing as expected and regaining her trust is important to you… tell her that, and have a discussion about your desire to know and do what is expected. This should take much of the guess work out of determining how close you are to being fired, what her motives are, what is required to be successful, what your motives are, etc.

I am sometimes guilty of micromanaging. The kicker is, it rarely has anything to do with the person or task I am micromanaging, but rather the significance of the result, the impact a mistake would have, or how personally invested I am in our success as a team.

Many who are not supervisors do not know what it is like, how could they if they have never done it? Regardless of the roles, it is often helpful to try to look at things from their perspective. Perhaps she could have provided coaching feedback earlier, giving you more resources or limiting the amount of time your performance was unacceptable? Perhaps your performance reflected poorly on her/others, and added unnecessary work or stress to her plate? Letting her know that you have considered this, and regret the impact it had is important, as is being clear about what you need from her.

Lastly, if your company is large enough, they may have resources for working through the underlying causes; depression, ill family members, etc. LifeWorks is one such resource:
http://www.unum.com/worklifebalance
Check with HR. Good luck!

By: david maxfield

david maxfield — Thu, 20 Jun 2013 02:57:14 +0000

It’s great to see the variety of perspectives people have added here. The leader’s perspective is a critically unknown element in this situation. Many of us have been in the manager’s shoes, and have seen the many forms that “breakdown of trust” can take. Sometimes trust can be readily regained; other times it is nearly impossible. Others of you have brought up other important ingredients to the problem that would have a profound impact on the strategy you’d want to follow and the outcomes you’d expect to achieve. This question is full of ambiguities and complexities–well worth our collective thoughts. I hope we have helped the person who sent us this challenging question.

By: slccom

slccom — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 20:04:44 +0000

Steve is apparently discounting the impact of depression, a mental illness that can usually be treated effectively, anxiety, which can paralyze your ability to function, and serious illness in a parent. These are not “excuses.” They are factors impacting your performance on the job. I hope that the person is getting effective treatment, and that the illness is either resolved in the restoration to health of the parent on the passing.

Reality is that what is happening in your life WILL affect your on-the-job performance. Employers can either make it easier to function on the job and work with stressed employees to make it work, or they can make it impossible. It sounds like this employer is willing to work with Trying, and time and improving performance will resolve the strain.

Another story that Trying could consider is that the supervisor is trying to help by making expectations clear, which makes it easier to meet them. After meeting expectations becomes easy, then it is time to start going beyond them.

By: Danete Bonner

Danete Bonner — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 18:26:10 +0000

Dear Trying:
Trust begets trust,and whatever you put out that’s what you get out.Example When you know that negative motives is in play(in your thoughts)automacically negative thoughts is recieved without the person approval which will not be fair to be judge without a hearing.Is the voice that you are hearing is your own preception or from business propective.