Thanks for that encouraging comment, Steve. Knowing you personally – I can vouch for the fact that you are loved and admired.

I can’t speak for other people’s journeys but I know that for me, in addition to endeavouring to change the six sources of influence, there was also a single small moment in time in which something shifted for me, and gave me the strength to quit for good. In the case of my drinking, it was when my two-year-old daughter reached up to my wine glass and said ‘Tah?’ wanting to try some. I realised I didn’t want her to grow up seeing me with a glass in my hand every night, and from that day on, I have never had another drink. For smoking, it was my father’s diagnosis with congestive heart failure after he had spent a lifetime of drinking and smoking. I thought to myself, “Who am I trying to fool? This could just as easily be my end of life if I don’t change things now.” Interestingly the two events were some years apart, i.e. I was able to stop drinking some years before I stopped smoking, and I think that perhaps this was because it was easier for me to change my six sources of influence around drinking than it was around smoking.

I want to emphasise that these changes occurred for me after years and years of trying many different things: AA, quitting for three months here and there, New Years resolutions, etc. Here in Australia there was a smoking cessation campaign a little while back that said, “Never give up on giving up.” I really identified with that sentiment. It is so easy to beat ourselves up when we fail (yet again!) but it is more important to be gentle with yourself when you do. Feelings of shame only exacerbate the desire to indulge in the behaviour and ‘prove’ to yourself what a failure you are.

Instead I recommend never giving up on giving up, set up the structures around you that will support your goals (your six sources of influence) and be open for those moments or catalysts that shift your thinking. Waiting for you is a life of happiness and quiet pride in your achievements, and I promise you it is possible. I wish you all the very best.

P.S. You are not Struggling, you are Striving!

Actually, you would be surprised how often people with chronic illnesses are told that if they would just get off their many medications they would get well.

Good news, “Struggling;” today I feel that I am one of the happiest, most blessed people on the planet. I feel joy and gratitude daily. The addictions that I once struggled with mightily now seem like a distant footnote in a past chapter of my life. What changed for me? Apparently, without knowing that I was applying the principles of the six sources of influence, I actively lived them and changed my world. In short, I now live a life congruent with my beliefs. Am I an addict? Some might define me as such, but I don’t. While I can’t say that the thought of past temptations doesn’t occasionally scroll across the screen in my mind, I can say that those thoughts are easily dismissed as I focus on the true sources of joy and love for me. Sometimes, when I’m driving in my car, I’ll reminisce about my past, and a big smile spreads across my face as I realize that all things are possible – even slaying one’s dragons.

What a graceful, wise and caring comment, Peter. Thank you for adding to the conversation.