most of at least the women i talk to do not want to worry about being allowed to march all over their friends/family. on the contrary, they want to have a safety net (of conscientious friends/family) that is able to put them back in their place if they get too power hungry. for that reason does the golden rule apply to even bad things like violence and abuse. i think we might all have a grandmother or great-grandmother who, when we got into our biting phase as little children, would bite us right back so that we could see what it felt like. undoubtedly, this served to positively influence our future behavior.

this is exactly why standing up to a bully is supposed to work: they unconsciously tell themselves what they do is ok because they’ve just gotten used to people not providing (what would arguably be) the natural consequences of their bad behavior. So they keep right on until someone cares enough to point out their hypocrisy (i.e. that if they applied the golden rule to their behaviors, then they’d [supposedly] feel some remorse for treating other people that way.) sometimes they keep right on after that, and i think that’s when this anti-yabbit concept (and the next paragraph) are more effective techniques.

this also points to the role of taking responsibility for one’s perspective that so many have trouble with in one aspect or another. it’s HARD, at least when you’re younger, to get slapped in the face and have the perspective to know, without hearing it from witnesses, that everyone a. disapproves of the slapper, and super A. will help you do something about it if the slapping progresses. knowing these things, without explicit confirmation, serves to guide one’s behavior with a certain perspective that is less likely to lose control. that being said, if the slapping does progress it’s even harder to re-moralize after seeing you were wrong. then where is the line drawn between having an unbreakable perspective and being in denial?

if what you’re talking about is the lazy mode we get into from time to time (or for long periods!) by excusing ourselves from thinking about better ways to overcome the problem of someone else’s annoying behavior than being annoying right back, then i have applauded the concept. the golden rule certainly lacks in some departments (e.g. what do you do when you’ve found out that your rule doesn’t work for your loved one, like your style of argument or your morning kisses?), but it’s a good starting point until you’ve heard otherwise.

overall still a great message in a great package that i think will have massive influence on many people… i believe that’s called rock star status.

I’ve just worked on the design of a book of children’s quotes about parents called ‘Through Our Children’s Eyes’. As well as obtaining the quotes from children, the author (a delightful, joyous young woman called Margaret Jarvinen) got the children to do the illustrations. It occurred to me that this might be an excellent treatment to give your poem.

You can download an excerpt from the book at http://throughourchildrenseyes.com.au/ You’ll notice that the book is also a ‘workbook’ to encourage people to follow the same process with their own children. Again … could be very applicable for your message.

No wonder your so successful in this area your such an insightful story teller.

I think the kids could do the illustrations with maybe a part set aside for the book owner to work through with their family.