Comments on: When Actions Speak Louder Than Words

By: When Actions Speak Louder Than Words - KRMS, LLCKRMS, LLC

When Actions Speak Louder Than Words - KRMS, LLCKRMS, LLC — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 22:31:48 +0000

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By: Stop Workplace Drama in 2 Hours! | When Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Stop Workplace Drama in 2 Hours! | When Actions Speak Louder Than Words — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 05:12:05 +0000

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By: Gary Cohen

Gary Cohen — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 05:21:07 +0000

Kerry,

Wonderful advice and very consistent with the book. I always like starting with a question to myself like yours and think about if the the way one is showing up is not helpful then what question will you have asked yourself and answered that is leading you to that behavior that others are objecting to. If You can change the question You ask yourself, you will likely find a very authentic different behavior showing up.

By: Sue Hamel

Sue Hamel — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 04:23:42 +0000

Thank you, I agree. I am often told that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and, as you have clearly pointed out, I need to be very mindful of where my heart is and what stories it is hearing. Thank you for these and other really important words of wisdom – your tips, suggestions and advice are contributing to improving our human community/ies, while raising awareness and perhaps I could say even consciousness. Keep up your important work, Sue.

By: J. R. Calkins

J. R. Calkins — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 18:41:55 +0000

The Actions Speak Louder Than Words comments are true to a point. However, I am guilty of expecting those close to me to understand certain things/issue and as a result demonstrate the tone of voice problem addressed above. I often say Just Nike it or Just do it. My wife always wants an explaination first and sometimes negative results occur. Example: Canoeing one day in Wyoming I told her to paddle to the left. She turned and asked why. The next thing we were in the rocks and took on water. To me it seemed obvious. Now I love my wife but this has been going on for a VERY log time (42 years) I know I can have the tone of voice but sometimes it’s difficult to take a breath and tone it down.

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Wed, 10 Nov 2010 14:56:03 +0000

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By: bean sagof

bean sagof — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 14:08:12 +0000

thought*-provoking, sorry

By: bean sagof

bean sagof — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 14:07:40 +0000

not that this post wasn’t thorugh-provoking and strong support for what i think should catch on because of its extreme utility in communicating with oneself that extrapolates to so many other areas of our lives (starting with the heart), BUT i don’t think the whole question was addressed: often (esp. when we’re just starting out or trying something new for a change, e.g. taking a convo more slowly by focusing on our intentions) our body language feels like it doesn’t know where to go and subsequently our unusual behavior gets mis-/interpreted as a sign that we’re lying or slowing down for dramatic effect, etc. Also sometimes such behavior has been rewarded by others and changing it would be counterintuitive if not plainly a bad idea.

while i think the step explained is most important for the individual asking the question, i also think there’s one missing and that’s for the listener to take similar responsibility in making sure her/his interpretation is not one that paints the speaker as a bad guy/girl. such a quality would be evident in e.g. the insecurity of people who gossip vs. the security of those who maintain a grapevine: while both distrust people, one is selfishly paranoid and the other sees him-/herself in others’ shoes.

thankyou for this discussion,
listener and listenee