In addition, surround yourself with people who model the behaviors you want to cultivate in yourself. Find these friends, and distance yourself from accomplices (people who encourage or enable the behaviors you are trying to change.)

When it comes to distancing yourself from loved ones… We find that adding a friend is far more important than losing an accomplice. We also find that many accomplices are happy to become supportive friends, if you invite them. However, very few will volunteer to help–out of fear they may offend you. We are social animals, so find ways to re-balance your social world so that it supports your aspirations.

Congrats on your big ah-ha moment and your awareness of negative thoughts. I too had this moment and had been struggling with my weight. I was told that people who are criticized or hurt by a parent or guardian (I was criticized by both parents!) feel the need to protect themselves. Weight gain can be a result of building up that protection. This was true for me.

What helped me was to surround myself with people who accept and love me just as I am. If possible, give yourself a little distance, of course delicately, between the criticizers and you. It took awhile for me and I wasn’t able to be as delicate about the distance thing however, it is working. I have an incredibly supportive husband and many great friends that I can depend on to be there for me. Think about this: just because some criticizes you, it doesn’t mean anything they say is true!

This is what I believe; their issues are not your problem and you can bet that when they are ready, they will join you in the fight to become healthy. You may even serve as inspiration for them if you can stop believing their criticisms (including your mother) have anything to do with you and let go of the need for protecting yourself. Good luck!!