Comments on: Dealing with Resentment at Work

By: grizzly bear mom

grizzly bear mom — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 00:16:03 +0000

Question: we are attempting to reform our 50 person OHRM office and I drafted several specific deliverables in the project charter such as develop a technical competency development office. Hold it and office directors for developing entry level, mid carrer and senior level development plans for employees by speciality area (training, recruiting, etc.) write competency models, assess competencies against them, develop indiviudal development plan policy and training, have employees write individiaul development plans, train employees where skills gap. Our exectuive champion deleted all the specific stuff and said things like train staff in consulting skills. How do I know whether she is trying to avoid the responsibility for really accomplishing work/upsetting the apple cart of holding anyone acocuntable for anything as in managements way, or if it is not appropriate for me to suggest these things at this time? Please respond before 0900 June 3rd because the charter is due then.

By: Mike Nichols

Mike Nichols — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 14:47:16 +0000

Regarding the Q&A: “How to Avoid Sugarcoating” the author has obviously never dealt with a seventeen year old child. Just try remaining calm when they think they own the house you paid for and is going to tell you what to do, how to do it, and when to do it.!! I have tried and tried but my emotions get the best of me every time; usually anger! I only yell and sometimes slam a door or something never ever get violent but I cannot remain calm when explaining to my son that this is my house and he will live by my rules or leave!

By: Barbara

Barbara — Thu, 26 May 2011 01:53:47 +0000

I find these exchanges extremely helpful, too. Just when I pour myself into the pot and settle down for some good stewing, your responses remove the emotion and bring back the logic. These examples remind me of my workplace and the stories I can create oh so skillfully. That’s when I get the book and training material out again to keep me grounded in reality. Your work is priceless! Thanks, Barbara

By: Luann Woneis

Luann Woneis — Wed, 25 May 2011 17:28:14 +0000

One aspect I’d like to comment on is the phrase “she was not disciplined or reprimanded”. The writer may have direct knowledge of this, but as a general comment I’d like to ask, “are you sure?” I say this because I’ve been a manager with an employee who was not performing up to par. The situation and the critical nature of the non-performance was different – no one’s life or safety depended on it. But I had other employees who were very resentful at what they assumed was a lack of action on management’s part in dealing with the problem performer, when in fact many steps were being taken with the employee to, first, improve her performance and then ultimately to let her go. These actions all took quite a bit of time and weren’t visible to any of her peers, especially since her performance was not improving. So, again, while the situation I relate is definitely different, I just agree that the story being told may not reflect the facts. The management team could not disclose to her peers that the employee was being subject to disciplinary action, so it wasn’t until much later that folks finally understood the problem was being addressed. That was unfortunate because by then the ongoing resentment had been festering in silence and near-silence for quite some time.

By: David Maxfield

David Maxfield — Wed, 25 May 2011 17:15:50 +0000

Hi Peter, I completely agree with your point: effective teams are ones where team members watch each others’ backs and hold each other accountable.

My point was that “Resentful” seemed to be blaming his/her co-worker for not being punished by their manager. If my manager fails to hold my co-worker accountable, should I blame my co-worker for that? I don’t think so.

Your point is still valid. If I think my co-worker needs to be held accountable for actions that could harm a patient. I can’t sit back and hope that our manager will solve the problem. I need to speak up.

thanks,

David

By: Peter Alfvin

Peter Alfvin — Wed, 25 May 2011 15:06:43 +0000

Thanks to both of you for the Q&A. I really find these exchanges helpful.

One part of the response that caught my attention was the statement about holding a peer accountable for being disciplined being more of a management responsibility.

In my experience, and from my understanding of the research, members of effective teams hold each other accountable rather than relying on the manager to exclusively or even primarily play this role. Is your experience/understanding different? If so, can you cite any supporting evidence?

Thanks again for your great work.

Pete Alfvin