I’ve noticed lately that my friend isn’t giving me her full attention when I’m speaking. She will start the conversation, but when I’m discussing a point, her attention starts to wander. Sometimes she won’t even acknowledge what I’m saying. It feels like she wants to end the conversation while I’m still speaking. It’s very hurtful and it makes me feel like she does not value what I say. How can I get her to stop doing this?

Signed,
Ignored

Dear Ignored,

In our busy, technology-saturated world, gaining and retaining people’s attention can feel like an impossible challenge. We must compete with smartphones in every hand and screens on every wall. And if not distracted by screens, people are preoccupied with an overloaded to-do list and anxiety around getting it all done. I can empathize with your frustration of not having your friend’s attention. I can also empathize with your friend who is struggling to give you the attention you deserve.

I want to share a few skills that will help in your Crucial Conversation. However, before I start, I invite you to shift your expectations. You can’t get people to do anything. People have their agency, and while the dialogue skills can influence behavior, they aren’t a form of manipulation. As you approach your friend, consider that what you share might motivate her to change the way she shows up in your interactions, and it might not. That behavior change is up to your friend, not you.

To be specific, the conversation you’ll want to hold with your friend is an accountability conversation. There is a gap between how you expect your friend to behave when you’re together and the way she is actually behaving. So, how can you attempt to close that gap?

As you approach this accountability conversation, try the following skills:

Assume the best. Rather than assume she is purposefully not giving you her full attention, assume that she is unaware of the problem. When you assume the best of someone cutting in line at Disneyland, for example, you say things like: “I’m sorry. Were you aware that we’ve been standing here in line?” This presumption of innocence avoids an accusation and starts the conversation on the right foot.

Separate intentions from outcome. You stated that when your friend’s attention starts to wander it is hurtful and makes you feel that she doesn’t really value what you have to say. While these feelings are understandable, don’t lead with them. Doing so will likely put your friend on the defense and you’ll start the conversation on an emotional cliff.

Consider that what you’re feeling isn’t the result of her direct intentions. Likely she isn’t intending to hurt you. Possibly, she’s totally unaware of how she’s showing up in your interactions. Assuming the best and separating intentions from the outcomes allows you to hold a pragmatic conversation based on facts and not perceptions. Which leads us to the next skill.

Start with the facts. You’re more likely to have a successful conversation when you start with the facts rather than your feelings. Facts are the least controversial part of what you have to say and the least likely to be debatable. To avoid a debate about the facts, I’d suggest waiting to hold your conversation until the next time these behaviors show up. So, the next time you find yourself interacting with your friend and you notice that she starts to look at her phone, or her attention wanders, pause the conversation right there and point out the behavior. It might sound like this.

“Hey, something just happened that I’d like to draw your attention to. You asked me a question, and as soon as I started to speak, you pulled out your phone and started scrolling. In fact, this is something that happens a lot when we’re together.”

Now that you’ve pointed out the behavior in the moment, you can share your conclusion. “When you start scrolling on your phone, or seem distracted by something else while we’re talking, it makes me feel like you don’t really value what I’m saying or maybe don’t want to spend time with me.”

Then check to see if you’ve got it right. “Is that what is going on or am I missing something?”

Listen. Now that you’ve shared your meaning, it’s time to listen and let your friend share hers. Don’t interject, simply listen. Perhaps you’ll learn something about why she feels the need to put her attention elsewhere when you’re together. Maybe she’s overwhelmed at work and under a lot of pressure, feeling like she needs to be constantly tethered to email. Perhaps she’s emotionally distant for other personal reasons that might surface as she shares her meaning. However, I suspect, she’ll be surprised and apologetic. She’ll say something like, “Oh no. You’re right, I am really distracted and I’m sorry that it has made you feel like I don’t value our time together. I do enjoy talking with you and I’ll try to do better.” If she is receptive in this or a similar way, then move to the next step.

Set some boundaries. Take the opportunity to set some ground rules about how you’ll act when you’re together. Say something like, “Let’s commit to putting each other first when we’re together. Could we leave our phones in our bags instead of out in the open? That will help eliminate the distraction altogether.” Or find another way to ensure that your time together is focused and meaningful.

The last step is important because it allows you to not have to repeat the conversation in the event your friend is distracted while talking in the future. You can just say, “Hey, remember how we discussed eliminating distractions when we’re together?” It also allows you to move the issue forward using the CPR skill—Content, Pattern, Relationship. This first conversation was about the content. But if it happens again, you can now address the pattern. And eventually, if needed, you would address the relationship.

If your friend truly doesn’t value your relationship enough to focus on you when you’re together, then it will soon become apparent, and you may choose to spend your time with others who do.

Best of luck in your accountability conversation.

Brittney

The post Addressing a Poor Listener appeared first on Crucial Learning.

How can you confront a manipulative roommate who has a way of talking their way out of situations and a history of gaslighting? I caught them stealing food from other roommates.

Signed,
Roommate

Dear Roommate,

Two of our most popular Crucial Skills articles are “How to Confront a Liar” and “How to Approach a Suspected Thief.” You might want to read both for additional ideas on approaching your roommate. You’re not alone in living and associating with people who don’t always act responsibly. It’s a challenging world out there.

It sounds like your concern centers on the fact that you’ve caught your roommate stealing, but their history of manipulation and gaslighting gives you little confidence in confronting them with good results. I’ll share three skills I think will help.

Ask the Humanizing Question

When you’re facing bad behavior, one of the principles we teach in Crucial Conversations is to ask yourself, “Why would a reasonable, rational person do what they did?” We call this the humanizing question, and we suggest that you spend time reflecting on it before engaging in dialogue. But what happens when history indicates the other person isn’t reasonable or rational? How do you proceed?

The humanizing question is so important because its purpose is two-fold. Yes, it helps you humanize the other person you’re about to dialogue with. But also, and maybe most importantly, it keeps you human. You’ll find that the cognitive process of generously diagnosing someone’s behavior helps to neutralize your own heightened emotions, slow your desire to act harshly and reactively, and remind yourself that you’re safe. This process ensures that you enter the conversation both reasonably and rationally.

If you can’t understand why your roommate acted the way they did, consider why another person—one who is reasonable and rational—acted that way. Perhaps they were out of food and in a hurry but planned to replace the items later. Or perhaps they asked permission when you weren’t around. In any case, when you practice the humanizing question, you’re taking time before the confrontation to both act humanely yourself and see the humanity in the other person.

It’s important to note that we don’t give people the benefit of the doubt because they are in fact innocent. Often, the other party is guilty and that’s why the confrontation is necessary. Which brings us to our next skill.

Start with Facts

As you approach your roommate, be sure to stick to the facts about what you observed and nothing more. Resist the urge to pile on additional frustrations or add conjecture about what the incident means about the other person. Instead, simply and factually describe what you saw and then let them explain.

“Yesterday, I saw you drink Fred’s milk. The carton was clearly labeled but you poured a glass anyway. Did he give you permission to do that?” And then listen to understand. Some simple, factual dialogue might just help them reset their behavior or provide the explanation you were lacking.

Sticking to the facts is particularly important with someone who gaslights. You’re not talking about your feelings or perceptions that are debatable; you’re simply describing facts that can’t be denied. In the future, I strongly suggest you speak up quickly and in the moment so that the facts hold their power. The longer you wait to speak up, the more the facts grow fuzzy—sometimes degrading into a game of he-said-she-said. And this may be why you’ve struggled with your roommate in the past. You’ve had concerns, you’ve remained silent, and your silence gives them leeway to debate history as it grows fuzzier and less certain. Any hope of salvaging this relationship will depend on your willingness and ability to speak up candidly and quickly.

Use CPR

If your roommate’s behavior doesn’t change despite you speaking up in the moment, then you’ll want to elevate the conversation from Content (a singular incident), to Pattern (the history of bad behavior), and eventually to the Relationship. This skill is called CPR and it helps you decide which conversation to hold so you can solve problems rather than get stuck having the same conversation over and over.

Instead of narrowing in on a single incident of stealing, talk about a pattern of behavior that is unacceptable in your home. You might need to set some boundaries. For example, “Since this is a pattern, maybe it’s best that we label our food so there isn’t any confusion about who it belongs to.”

If, you’ve held a pattern conversation and reached some new agreements, but your roommate continues to behave poorly, then it’s time to elevate the conversation to the third level: Relationship.

At this point you’ll want to talk about how they have violated your trust or created such a toxic environment that you need to renegotiate the relationship. Many people who gaslight or manipulate are rarely confronted about THAT behavior. The other person tends to beat around the bush, addressing small content issues but never addressing the impact of these toxic behaviors on the relationship.

Relationship conversations are not easy, but if things are as challenging as you describe, it’s probably where you need to go. This is when you’ll want to talk about finding new living accommodations for you or them. Or maybe even ending the relationship because it’s no longer healthy for you. The best approach is to proceed tentatively. Continue to share facts that support your conclusions and concerns. Make sure it’s clear why you feel the way you do, and that your accusations aren’t based on conjecture or stories, but real behavior. Then ask them how they see it? Listen to understand their view and then decide what that means for you.

If they feel remorseful, maybe there’s room to work things out. If they are defensive and resistant, you may want to find a new living arrangement. Whatever the result, your thoughtful actions should help you move forward with your decision confidently.

Best of luck,
Brittney

The post How to Confront Someone Who Has a History of Evading Responsibility appeared first on Crucial Learning.

How do I help an employee become more organized and productive when she does not respond well to constructive criticism? We have talked about this several times, but I cannot seem to help her find a productive way of working. It’s almost like she enjoys being frantic and unproductive. Any suggestions?

Signed,
Trying to Help

Dear Trying,

It’s tough to be in the orbit of someone who is frantic and disorganized. It’s even more challenging when they’re unwilling to see how their behavior impacts others. However, I’ll start by acknowledging that your team member’s response to your critique is pretty common.

Several years ago, we surveyed 455 people to better understand how they respond to harsh feedback. Unsurprisingly, we found that 9 out of 10 said they were shocked and stunned when they received harsh feedback. The interesting data surfaced when we asked people whether they’d welcome the feedback if it were delivered in a careful and compassionate way. And what we found is that it would make little difference in their reaction. No matter how well feedback is delivered, it still leaves a painful and lasting impression—it’s still hard to hear.

I don’t share this data to excuse your team member’s behavior, but rather to help us better understand it. As a manager, assume that criticism – however constructive it may be – will likely be difficult for your team member to hear. Expecting an emotional or defensive reaction can help you better prepare for the Crucial Conversation.

And here are a few skills you’ll want to use when confronting your team member about their frantic and unproductive behavior.

Make it safe. Knowing that your team member is going to react defensively to the criticism, you need to be extra diligent in creating and maintaining safety in the conversation. An underlying principle of safety in dialogue is understanding that people don’t get defensive because of what you’re saying, but rather because of why they think you’re saying it.

It’s likely they’ll gloss over the specific feedback about their working style and assume you think they’re incompetent. They may feel their job is on the line. Or maybe they’re already aware they struggle in this area and your criticism further confirms they are a failure.

Because safety is more about your intent, than your content, you can nip these distracting assumptions in the bud by starting the conversation with a statement about your good intent.

You can identify your good intent by asking yourself a few questions: What is it I really want here? And not just for me, but what do I want for them and for our relationship? So, given the context you’ve shared, your good intent might sound something like this:

“I would really like to see you succeed in your role here because I see a lot of potential in your skills and ability. The team really values your experience and what you bring to the table. There is one area where if you made some adjustments, would really help you achieve that potential and provide even more value to the team. Would you be open to some coaching?”

Now, making it safe is rarely a one-and-done skill. You must continually monitor for safety throughout your Crucial Conversation. As you begin sharing the feedback, and you start to notice safety is at risk—perhaps emotions are escalating, or they are beginning to shut down—you need to step out of the conversation and reestablish safety. You can do that with a contrasting statement which is to clarify what you don’t intend (which addresses their concerns) with what you do intend (which reiterates your good intent). It might sound like:

“I don’t intend to make you feel like you’re failing at your job. I do want to help you improve the way you manage your work so you can be less stressed and more effective in your role.”

You may have to reestablish safety several times. But if you do the work to make it safe, they should be willing to hear nearly anything from you—someone who has their best interest in mind.

Stick to the facts. Feedback is only as useful as it is actionable. When you share vague feedback like “You are frantic and unproductive,” it sounds less like feedback and more like a criticism of some character flaw. So before having the Crucial Conversation, identify specific behaviors and moments that validate your concern. For example:

• Don’t say: You’re unproductive.
• Do say: Last week, you spent two days working on the Acme proposal. That proposal should have taken just a few hours.

• Don’t say: You’re frantic.
• Do say: Yesterday, when I asked you for an update on the campaign brief, your response was exasperated and intense. I got the sense you were very overwhelmed by both the project and by providing the update.

• Don’t say: You are unorganized.
• Do say: In our one-on-one meetings, you struggle to provide a clear picture of what you’re actively working on.

You get the idea. Don’t come in with charged conclusions; be sure to provide concrete evidence that will illuminate their blind spots.

Diagnose and solve accordingly. Sounds like your repeated attempts to offer feedback and coaching haven’t led to a change in behavior. You’ll want to help diagnose the performance gap by first considering whether this is a motivation problem or an ability problem.

Do they know how to be more organized and less frantic? Are they aware of what to do? If not, then they have an ability gap. You can help them close that gap with training or coaching in productivity skills. Our Getting Things Done course (and book) can help with this ability challenge.

If it’s a motivation problem, try motivating them to action by sharing natural consequences. Kindly let them know how their behavior impacts you, their teammates, and results. Perhaps they can’t see how their mode of operation affects others. Bringing that to light could be a powerful motivator to change.

I suspect however, that they aren’t finding pleasure and joy in their frenzy and disorganization. I doubt they know what to do to be more organized. It’s more likely they’ve simply developed poor habits around managing their work. I bet you’ll discover this is an ability gap and something you can help them address with training and support.

I hope these skills will help you coach your team member through tough behavior change. Your ability to do so with candor and respect will make all the difference.

Brittney

The post My Employee Won’t Respond to Feedback but Needs to ASAP appeared first on Crucial Learning.

I was not given the opportunity to lead a team because I am innately gifted at leadership. Leadership opportunities came my way because I did well as an individual contributor. I delivered consistently in my role as a marketer, so my leaders must’ve concluded if I could do the work well, maybe I could help others do it well, too.

Eager to live up to my reputation as a top performer, I accepted a leadership role. And frankly, I’ve learned many leadership lessons the hard way—through false starts, public flubs, and tough interactions. If you’ve yet to experience leadership, believe me when I say that leading other adults with unique personalities, qualities, and characteristics is HARD.

In my ten years as a leader, I’ve committed the fundamental attribution error more times than I’d like to admit. I’ve jumped to conclusions about why people have dropped balls, shown up late, or dragged their feet. When we commit the fundamental attribution error, we assume people do bad things or perform poorly because they themselves are bad. We assume mistakes are due to total incompetence. We look at the person as the problem rather than examine the processes, peers, or environment surrounding that person that might be contributing to problems.

Here’s a tough example. Years ago, we were launching a new study at a large healthcare conference on the East Coast. While I was on site for the conference that would also be simulcasted to a virtual audience, my team was home in Utah waiting to launch the study online at exactly 10 a.m. Eastern time. Well, 10 a.m. came and went. And as our speakers announced that all our viewers could now access the study online, I began to get flooded with complaints that the study was not, in fact, there.

Flustered, I immediately assumed my team member dropped the ball. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” I thought in a state of complete panic. “We went over this plan dozens of times! How could they not get it right?”

It was not a good moment for me. Yes, I was under pressure answering to thousands of audience members, in person and online. But my ugly assumptions about what had gone wrong were sending fury and frustration pulsing through my veins.

I picked up the phone and called my team member, practically yelling into the line, “Why is the study not live? Get it up NOW!”

They immediately resolved the issue, giving our audience access to the study. It was an unfortunate mistake, but not a catastrophic one. And yet I had felt that all was lost and had acted in a way that let my team member know it.

Later that night I received an email from my team member letting me know what had happened. As it turns out, I had sent a last-minute communication the night before to “confirm” the launch times. In that email, I mixed up the time zones. I had said, please push the study live at 10 a.m. But our offices were in a different time zone. In reality, my team member needed to make the study live at 8 a.m. Mountain time to meet the 10 a.m. Eastern time deadline. They were simply doing as I had asked, which I should have known because this employee is exemplar and a team player.

I felt terrible and replied with an apology. But, in retrospect, I feel that the erroneous assumptions I made that day caused tension and strain in that relationship that took years to overcome.

Since that time, I certainly do not have a perfect track record as a leader. But I have learned a thing or two about how to approach leadership challenges with a new lens.

In 2007, our cofounders released a leadership book and course called Influencer. For the past 16 years, Influencer has taught a model for leading others and influencing behavior. Yesterday, we launched a completely updated and re-imagined version of this course, now called Crucial Influence®. The new course teaches the same model that is based on 50 years of social science and our work with leaders from around the world.

The course and model are built on the premise that any leadership challenge is a challenge of human behavior. Leaders are often asked to come up with strategy, lead with vision, or present innovative ideas. But that isn’t the hard work of leadership. The hard work of leadership is getting others to execute on the strategy, carry out the vision, and implement new ideas. The Crucial Influence Model teaches you how to do that. By first clarifying the results you want to achieve, identifying the vital behaviors that will generate those results, and then using the Six Sources of Influence to influence behavior, you can successfully lead others to achieve important results.

Over the last 16 years our clients have expertly demonstrated what can occur when leaders follow this model. Leaders have influenced entire healthcare organizations to adopt life-saving hand-hygiene initiatives. Mining and utility organizations have saved lives and prevented injury from workplace hazards. Retailers have influenced their teams to achieve unprecedented profits. The list goes on.

And while I have turned to the Crucial Influence Model to influence behavior, I’ve also found the model has shifted my perspective and changed the way I lead. I believe this shift is one of the more profound results of the Crucial Influence approach to leadership.

The Six Sources of Influence—which are central to the Crucial Influence Model—reveal that our world is perfectly organized to produce the results we are currently experiencing. Our behavior isn’t rooted in motivation or willpower alone. Rather, it’s the result of multiple personal, social, and environmental influences that affect our motivation and ability and shape our choices and behaviors. Why is this important?

The lightbulb moment for me occurred when I realized my team member’s performance gaps are rarely the result of incompetence, laziness, insubordination, or any other ugly assumption. There is more going on in their world contributing to their behavior. When mistakes occur, I can use the Six Sources of Influence to diagnose why that gap exists and avoid the fundamental attribution error. Do they not believe in the goal or see why it’s important (Source 1: Personal Motivation)? Do they not have the skills to do what’s required (Source 2: Personal Ability)? Are others encouraging or promoting ineffective behavior (Source 3: Social Motivation)? Have I, as their leader, removed barriers or provided support (Source 4: Social Ability)? Do rewards encourage or discourage the behavior (Source 5: Structural Motivation)? Or do they have access to the right systems and tools (Source 6: Structural Ability)?

Examining performance problems through the lens of the six sources allows me to separate the person from the problem. I can avoid attributing fault, adding to insecurities, or attacking sincere effort. I can identify which sources of influence are contributing to the problem and address those so they work for my team member rather than against them. And often, when I diagnose challenges using this model, I see how I, as the leader, have played a part in the problem. I see areas where I can provide clearer direction and coaching or remove barriers. This shift in perspective makes all the difference in how I show up as a leader when problems arise.

Last year I hired a new employee. She’s the epitome of a top performer but was struggling to work well with another department. Week after week she shared frustrating interactions with the other department that started to impact our results. Shipments arrived late and orders were missing. It not only impacted our events, but also resulted in additional work for her.

To help her out, I turned to the six sources. She was committed to her role and how it benefited our team—she wasn’t struggling with personal motivation. She had the skills to place orders and manage vendors—personal ability wasn’t the issue. But when I looked at social motivation and ability, I realized I had not helped her make the social connections that would set her up for success.

I called a colleague from the other department—someone I had worked closely with for many years. I explained that I was her manager and wanted to facilitate a better working relationship. He was surprised to learn that I was her leader, he had wondered where she fit into the organization and where some of the requests were coming from. I apologized for not properly training her on the shipping processes or making the proper connections and introductions. That call seemed to make a difference. The relationship now had the necessary mutual purpose to succeed.

I am so glad I didn’t commit the fundamental attribution error. This is a star employee. She is key to our success. Learning to lead her—and all my team members—with grace and understanding ensures they have positive and fulfilling experiences and can grow through challenges. We want them to be around for a long time. To make that happen, it’s my job as a leader to influence success.

If you’d like to learn more about Crucial Influence, check out the new Crucial Influence Miniseries with Crucial Influence coauthor Joseph Grenny. It’s free and a great way to get familiar with the skills.

The post The Subtle Shift in Perspective that Changed How I Lead appeared first on Crucial Learning.

I recently assumed the role of assistant nurse manager in a very busy procedural area of a hospital. I have learned that one of our technicians has been causing drama on the team for several years. Nurses have been known to cry because of her aggression and passive-aggressive behavior. Previous management didn’t know how to deal with her, as she incessantly denies accusations. How would you recommend I confront this person with a Crucial Conversation?

Signed,
Tired of Drama

Dear Tired,

Several years ago we did a research study on the impact of interpersonal drama in healthcare. And the takeaway is probably no surprise to you—drama in healthcare isn’t reserved for nighttime television. Most caregiver teams experience predictable and toxic levels of drama in the form of slackers, timid supervisors, toxic peers, arrogant doctors, you name it.

We surveyed 1,200 physicians, nurses, and staff and found five interpersonal issues that are particularly pervasive and destructive: poor initiative, difficult peers, failure to hold others accountable, unresponsive physicians, and managers who play favorites. Let’s zone in on difficult peers.

Difficult peers were defined as colleagues who gossiped, spread rumors, gave people the cold shoulder, and are rude, sarcastic, and mean. Sound familiar? More than 56% of respondents said difficult peers were common and two of three said the resulting problems were costly—meaning difficult peers negatively affected patient safety, quality of care, patient experience, and employee engagement. (Download the full study.)

But I don’t need to convince you that a toxic colleague is detrimental to team health. It’s the other findings that will be key to helping you address this issue.

We didn’t just look at whether these challenges were common and costly, we also looked at whether they were discussable and solvable. What we found is that the real problem in healthcare isn’t drama—it’s silence. The real problem isn’t that these interpersonal challenges exist, because it’s rather unrealistic to think that a work environment characterized by long hours, extreme urgency, unbelievably high stakes, and large power differentials wouldn’t produce people problems. Rather, the problem is that when interpersonal challenges arise, people are unwilling to address them and solve them—much as you have described with your own team. In fact, when it came to difficult peers, 78% of survey respondents said this problem was barely or not at all discussable, and 79% said it was barely or not at all solvable.

So, how do you change the script? How do you speak up to a disrespectful team member—not to mention one who has gotten away with bad behavior for several years? Our research and experience suggest that dialogue is drama’s kryptonite. When people share their full concerns in ways that are frank, honest, and respectful, disputes are often solved before they become drama. We ultimately arrived at two conclusions:

1. Having a leader who demonstrates strong and positive interpersonal skills is one of the best ways to not only eliminate the challenge but also mitigate the resulting costs.
2. Teams that encourage and enable dialogue are more successful at eliminating drama and achieving positive outcomes.

When it came to skilled leaders, we looked specifically at those who had been trained in Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue and/or Crucial Conversations for Accountability. We found that when managers had been trained in one of these programs, the five interpersonal challenges were significantly less common, more discussable, and more solvable. They also achieved significantly higher scores on patient safety, quality of care, patient experience, and staff engagement.

So, to address future difficult peers and other interpersonal challenges quickly and effectively, consider getting trained in Crucial Conversations. To help you with your immediate challenge, here are a few Crucial Conversations skills for speaking up to an unaccountable, toxic employee.

Communicate Respect

Communicating respect in the first 30 seconds helps others feel safe, which will help them listen to you. For example, begin with, “I want to be a loyal friend and a good teammate. I have some concerns and don’t want to let them get in the way of our working relationship. Do you have a minute to discuss them?”

Lead with Facts

When sharing concerns, don’t lead with accusations or judgmental language. Lead with facts. For example, replace, “I think you are rude to our teammates in staff meetings” with “In our last staff meeting, you cut off Ellen when she was speaking and then rolled your eyes.”

Share Natural Consequences

Motivate others by helping them see the natural consequences of their misbehavior in ways that matter to them. For example, “I’ve heard you expressing frustration that people aren’t friendly to you. I think I know some reasons why and would be willing to share them if you’d like.”

Invite Dialogue

Remember you are probably partly wrong about how you see things. After sharing your concerns, encourage the other person to share his or hers—and even to show you where you may be wrong. Others will be more open to your views if they are convinced you’re open to theirs.

Hold Superiors Accountable

If the Crucial Conversation fails, and if the bad behaviors continue to affect you and others negatively, your next discussion needs to be with superiors or even HR. Use these same steps to help them see that they need to do a better job dealing with this errant employee.

The research had a silver lining. We found a hopeful minority of hospitals where leaders have created cultures of open dialogue and where honest conversation is the norm when problems arise. They see not just markedly better behavior but also substantially improved results. These teams and departments scored 16% higher on patient safety, 18% higher on quality of care, 19% higher on patient experience, and 37% higher on staff engagement than teams where leaders chose silence.

Good luck in your Crucial Conversation. It will be worth it.

Brittney

You can download the study here: Crucial Moments in Healthcare.

The post Speaking Up to Problem Employees appeared first on Crucial Learning.

It’s one thing to tell a person you disagree with them or give them feedback about a situation, but how do you do this with a group? I am in a situation where everyone seems to be heading in the wrong direction. I disagree with their thinking and their actions, but it appears I’m the only one. What can I do?

Signed,
Lonely Dissenter

Dear Lonely,

Group think can be hard to battle. Decisions made en masse have a lot of momentum—if not staying power. But just because everyone may appear to think the same, doesn’t mean their thinking is right. So, how do you speak up if you’re the only one who disagrees? Our research shows that many people avoid saying anything when in your shoes.

Several years ago, we polled 600 employees and found that 90% said they know far in advance when projects are doomed, but they feel incapable of speaking up. Eighty-two percent said there were significant organization-wide initiatives underway in their workplace that would likely fail, and 78% said they were personally working on a “doomed” project.

Despite this pervasive concern about project success, only 10% felt they could effectively speak up about the “slow motion train wrecks” happening before their eyes. More than 71% said they tried to speak up to key decision-makers but didn’t feel heard, and 19% didn’t even attempt to have the conversation.

Why do we struggle to speak up in these moments? It’s because the conversation has turned from casual to crucial.

When conversations are crucial—when there are high stakes, opposing opinions, and strong emotions—we often go to silence because we expect the conversation will go poorly. Our survey respondents said they worried speaking up might damage their credibility or reputation. They also worried that decision-makers might get angry or defensive.

When you’re the lone dissenter on a group decision, you are facing a Crucial Conversation. And the skills you need for this conversation are no different than those you use when addressing a single individual. When you know how to handle Crucial Conversations, you can engage in a candid and respectful conversation with one or many, and maybe even influence decisions and change outcomes. Let’s discuss a few ideas for disagreeing with a group.

Consider the Risks

Any time you’re unsure whether you should speak up, consider the risks. But not the risks of speaking up, rather the risks of not speaking up. If you’re confident the group’s position isn’t right or needs more consideration, then speak up. If you believe staying silent will lead to project failure, for example, speak up. If you bite your tongue today, no amount of righteous indignation will salvage the sting of a team failure tomorrow.

Lead with Facts

Don’t start a risky conversation with vague conclusions, judgments, or accusations. For example, don’t begin with, “This decision is a terrible idea. Don’t you remember what happened last time we outsourced the production work to Acme Corp.?” While this statement might be true, it lacks the evidence that supports your belief. Conclusions are often inflammatory and provoke defensiveness. You’ll have far more success in raising a flag if you start by laying out the factual basis of your concerns before sharing the riskier conclusions.

For example, “We selected Acme Corp. as our contractor two years ago. Several of you were not around then, but I was, and there were some major issues with the partnership. While their bid was the cheapest, we ended up spending what we saved because we had to bring in outside contractors to fix quality issues introduced by Acme. They also came in two months behind schedule.”

Sharing data is less controversial, and it helps the group see your concern more clearly. If you have the facts in hand, you can take the emotion out of the conversation. You’re simply shedding light on information the group should be aware of.

Maintain Safety

Your group will be much more receptive to your concerns if they understand that you care about what they care about and aren’t simply pushing an agenda or being difficult. Make it clear you’re sensitive to the group’s work and efforts to arrive at the position they have. This creates an atmosphere of safety, diffuses defensiveness, and sets the stage for a more favorable response.

“I know a lot of work went into the contract proposal. I understand that we received bids from several respected agencies, and I know that my concerns about Acme might seem skewed given their proposal. But I feel it’s important to share perspective that may change your opinion.”

Express Mutual Purpose

Once you have made it safe for others to hear your concerns, share your mutual purpose.

“My goal is not to set the work back or force the team to start over. I know we have a tight deadline, and I want to keep to that as well. But that is also why I’m speaking up, because I’m concerned that if we work with Acme, we won’t meet our deadlines.”

Invite Dialogue

Once you’ve tentatively shared your facts and mutual purpose, ask others how they see it. Invite their perspective. In the process, you might learn something about their own decision-making that could change your opinion or how you see things. You might even discover that others have similar feelings they’ve been reluctant to express—just as our study showed.

“Could we spend some time discussing this new information to make sure we’re really comfortable with the decision to choose Acme? I’d like to hear your perspective on what I’ve shared.”

These skills can help you speak up—even when you feel outnumbered. Maybe all you need to gain a little momentum of your own is to start the Crucial Conversation. Don’t be afraid to speak up, you could be responsible for saving a project, changing outcomes, or even changing lives.

Best of luck,
Brittney

The post How to Hold a Crucial Conversation with a Group appeared first on Crucial Learning.

My manager recently told me that another leader said this about me: “her nationality shows by her bluntness in meetings.” I was told this as feedback but wasn’t given any specific examples. While I am open to constructive feedback and want to improve, I’m very hurt by this comment. This is particularly hurtful because I work for an organization that prides itself on being diverse and inclusive. I also ask myself: What would the feedback be if I were of a different nationality? Or if I were male? Or what would I hear if I were a director or a VP rather than a manager? How do I respond to this feedback? Right now, I feel hurt. I welcome your insight.

Signed,
Feeling Judged

Dear Judged,

It’s always difficult to receive feedback—especially if the feedback feels biased and discriminatory. I can understand why you feel hurt and frustrated. While you point out that this feedback is vague, it’s also extremely specific. The critic disparages a part of your identity, implying there is something wrong with who you are. It is hurtful. It also sounds like you’re struggling to let go.

I’m going to assume you’ve had enough social interactions to know that people will not always be respectful and kind. Sometimes people will be callous, inconsiderate, and rude. Not everyone will like you, and you won’t necessarily like everyone else. For example, after some challenging interactions with colleagues years ago, I realized I won’t be close friends with every coworker. We don’t have to hang out on the weekends or meet up for lunch. Ultimately, it’s unproductive to demand more of workplace relationships than they can reasonably offer. In some cases, the best you can do is be cordial and respectful and leave it at that.

In other words, sometimes the best course of action is to let go and move on. But I have the sense you simply can’t brush off this rude comment. At the core, you feel disrespected. You also feel the comment betrays the values of your organization. So, it’s probably time to hold a Crucial Conversation or two about this interaction.

It’s important to speak up when you feel hurt or resentful because what you don’t talk out, you will act out. Your resentment may show up as backbiting, gossip, silence, disengagement, distrust, and more. I’ll assume these behaviors do not represent how you’d like to show up at work, so start talking before resentment takes over.

I recommend you hold the following Crucial Conversations.

Talk with Yourself

We agree the comment about your nationality was uncalled for and disrespectful, but let’s set that aside for now. You say you are open to feedback, so take time to really examine whether the criticism has any merit. Do you tend to be blunt?

Just because a perspective is delivered poorly or is hard to hear doesn’t mean it’s inaccurate. I encourage you to reflect on your interactions and examine whether you tend to shut others down. While it would have been helpful to receive specific examples, perhaps you can think of interactions where being overly direct hindered dialogue.

Is there room for improvement? Could you be more receptive? Are there times when withholding your opinion might generate better dialogue? I don’t know the answers, but I encourage you to hold this Crucial Conversation with yourself and use this as an opportunity for growth. You can find more ideas in my recent article, “When Feedback Feels Abusive.”

Talk with the Messenger

Next, address the hypocrisy you perceived when the manager passed along the feedback. Ask if they would be willing to discuss the feedback. During this conversation, stick to the facts and use the contrasting skill.

Start by letting your manager know what you don’t intend. For example, “I don’t intend to ignore feedback that would help me be a better teammate. I’ve spent some time reflecting, and I can see that I tend to be blunt. I think I have room for improvement and will work to change this behavior.”

Then articulate what you do intend. “And, as I’ve reflected on this feedback you shared, I’m having a hard time reconciling it with the values we say we care about here.”

Then factually describe what happened. “You told me that a colleague said my nationality shows by my bluntness in meetings. While I can appreciate the feedback, the fact that it was tied to my nationality feels hurtful, disrespectful, and unnecessary. It especially feels uncalled for when we say that, as an organization, we pride ourselves on being inclusive. Speaking negatively about one’s nationality does not feel inclusive. To be honest, it feels discriminatory. And when you, as a leader, don’t shut that down but rather pass it on, it seems to condone bias rather than inclusivity. How do you see it?”

Then wait for the manager to respond. If the manager is not open to the discussion, dismissive, or even disrespectful in return, your next Crucial Conversation may need to be with another leader or HR.

If the Crucial Conversation with the manager progresses, ask them to identify the source of the feedback. Explain that it’s important to you to speak to the source because you’d like to repair the relationship. Also explain that you’d like some specific examples to help you as you process and apply the feedback.

Talk with the Source

Once you are aware of the source, ask that person for a few minutes to talk. Give them some context, then hold a Crucial Conversation similar to the one you held with the manager. Stick to the facts and contrast. Explain what you don’t intend and explain that you’d also like to talk about how the feedback was delivered.

Hopefully they’ll be open to your feedback. If they are, they will likely apologize, which I encourage you to accept. Ask for examples of how your bluntness has impacted the relationship so you can do things differently in the future. Be open to those examples and listen. Express your own apology and commitment to do better. Conclude by letting them know that if they have feedback for you in the future, you’d appreciate hearing it from them directly.

These aren’t easy Crucial Conversations, but if the feedback was as hurtful as you say, it’s important to speak up. Remember, what you don’t talk out, you’ll act out. And resentment grows larger and uglier as time goes on. I am also confident that your willingness to engage in dialogue will improve the culture of your team and organization—an important result for everyone.

Best of luck,
Brittney

The post How to Handle a Personal Judgment appeared first on Crucial Learning.

I’ve had trouble with employees being vigilant to hold peers accountable, but in a way that isn’t very kind. How do you encourage peer accountability and ensure it doesn’t end up as a form of bullying?

Signed,
Concerned

Dear Concerned,

Holding people accountable can be challenging. When you hold someone accountable, you are giving them uncomfortable feedback about their behavior. You are in effect holding up a mirror to show them that what they said, did, or didn’t do isn’t acceptable. Does that feedback get easier to hear when it’s said with a smile? With kind words? With a gentle tone?

Several years ago, we did a study on feedback. We wanted to know how people responded to feedback, especially harsh feedback. We received stories from 455 people who had at one point or another been told things like:

• “You are an evil person. You are a thief. You are scum.”
• “Think about leaving—I need warriors not wimps.”
• “You only want to be right. You are manipulative and selfish.”
• “You know, you are kind of whiny.”
• “You look great on a resume, but not so great on the job.”

Some may see these statements as examples of bullying. They are certainly direct, but they may also be seen as harsh, mean, and even uncalled for. And yet, surprisingly, while 90% said they felt shocked or stunned to receive such feedback, only 15% reacted with feelings of anger or resentment. The most common response was either silence or forced politeness. Harsh feedback simply shut people down, at least for a moment.

But we didn’t stop there. We wondered whether people would welcome feedback if it were delivered in a more careful and compassionate way. If someone said “You seem to be more concerned with your own results than the results of the team” rather than “You are selfish,” would the recipient be grateful and accepting of the feedback?

What we found is that no matter how well the feedback was delivered, it still left a painful and lasting impression. It was still hard to hear.

I don’t reference this study to dismiss the seriousness of bullying. There is no room for bullying in the workplace, or any place for that matter. If you want specific tips on how to address a bully, read my recent article, “How to Confront Bullying Behavior at Work.”

What I am suggesting is that just because feedback can sting, doesn’t mean it’s a form of bullying. Any time we hold another accountable, they are likely to bristle to some degree. No matter how kind we are, feedback is usually unwelcome. And while we teach many skills on how to speak up with 100% candor and 100% respect, it’s also important to have skills for receiving feedback or being the recipient of a Crucial Conversation.

Let’s first look at why feedback can be so difficult to receive, then I’ll explain how we can receive it better.

Own Your Safety

Safety is one of two essential psychological needs. Whenever we believe it’s threatened, we respond with fight, flight, or freeze. Of course, if you find yourself in physical danger, get out of the situation. But when someone is holding us accountable, we are completely safe. It is our pride that’s at risk, not our safety.

It’s not hard to see that, in the case of physical danger, we must take responsibility for our safety. And yet when it comes to psychological safety, we often assume others are responsible for it. If this is our position, the default reaction to feedback is to take offense. Remember that you are responsible for your own psychological safety. Ghandi said it best: “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”

You may be wondering, what if the person really is mean? It doesn’t matter. If the Devil himself had feedback and there was a kernel of truth in it, wouldn’t you want to hear it? Ultimately, the motive of others holding you accountable is irrelevant. Look for the truth—that is what matters.

Own Your Worth

Our other essential psychological need is a sense of self-worth. Too often we derive a sense of self-worth from external sources—jobs, salary, social standing, material possessions, you name it. Then, when someone reveals our shortcomings through harsh or uncomfortable feedback, the house of cards known as our self-worth crumbles.

Instead, develop a sense of self-worth built on self-respect. One way to improve self-respect is to develop good values and live them. Do this sufficiently and feedback cannot harm you. You can find value in whatever feedback you were given.

Taking responsibility for your safety and sense of self-worth provides immunity to the pain of feedback. In addition, these four CURE skills can help you better respond to feedback.

Collect

If harsh feedback catches you off-guard, have a way to collect yourself. One good way is to breathe deeply and slowly, and pause to pay attention to how you are feeling—hurt, scared, embarrassed, ashamed. The more connected you are to these primary feelings, the less you become consumed with secondary effects like anger, defensiveness, or fear. Use this moment to remind yourself that you are safer than you think. You can even collect yourself by consciously connecting to soothing truths. For example, repeat a phrase like, “This can’t hurt me. I’m safe” or “If I made a mistake, it doesn’t mean I am a mistake. I get to make mistakes.”

Understand

Next, listen. Ask questions. Ask for examples. Get curious. Detach yourself from what is being said as though it is being said about a third person. That will help you bypass the urge to evaluate what you’re hearing. You’ll stop worrying about whether it’s true or false. Simply act like a good reporter trying to understand the story of an informant.

Recover

It’s often best at this point to simply exit. Explain that you want time to recover and reflect and that you will respond later. Give yourself permission to feel and recover from the experience before evaluating what you heard. You don’t have to agree or disagree with the feedback in the moment. Just take time to sincerely reflect and decide on your next actions. Say something like, “It’s important to me that I get this right. I need some time. I’ll get back to you when I’m ready to respond.”

Engage

Examine what you were told. If you’ve done a good job taking responsibility for your safety and worth, you’ll reverse your natural reaction to feedback. Rather than poking holes in it, you’ll look for truth. Even if the feedback is 90% fluff and 10% substance, look for the substance. There is almost always at least a kernel of truth in what people are telling you. When you’re ready and it’s appropriate, engage with the person who shared the feedback and acknowledge what you heard, what you accept, and what you’ll commit to do.

You can learn more about these ideas and skills in this speech by Joseph Grenny. You’ll also find more tips in the third edition of Crucial Conversations, which has a new chapter dedicated entirely to this topic.

In conclusion, I’ll reiterate that holding people accountable is challenging. It’s the act of telling someone something they may not want to hear. So, no matter how kindly you do it, it may hurt.

Instead of demanding perfection from the messenger, let’s ask more of the receiver. Let’s encourage people to be open to hearing hard truths, even when they aren’t perfectly packaged.

Best of luck,
Brittney

The post When Feedback Feels Abusive appeared first on Crucial Learning.

I work in the agricultural industry as a sales rep. Sometimes I must go out to a customer when a product has not met their expectations. I just started reading Crucial Conversations, and I also have Crucial Confrontations. Any areas I should focus on to better handle these situations? So far I have read about how to have difficult conversations with employees or peers, but not much on customer issues.

Signed,
The Messenger

Dear Messenger,

Customer service is an interesting application of Crucial Conversations. To your point, these skills work beautifully when talking with employees or peers, but do they work with customers? More importantly, do they work with disgruntled customers who are less than pleased with your product or service?

In short, the answer is yes. These skills are necessary and effective any time you face differing opinions, high stakes, or strong emotions—common conditions in customer service. Your particular customer service interaction includes all three conditions: your customer does not hold the same good opinion of your product as you do; they have spent a lot of money and time on your product, so the stakes are high; and as a result, they are discouraged, upset, and maybe even feel deceived—emotions are surging. What now?

Several years ago, we did a study that uncovered four Crucial Conversations that drive customers away. The study looked specifically at customer interactions in banking and finance, but these conversations are common in most every customer-client interaction. We collected 1,670 stories from customers of loyalty-killing interactions and four conversations emerged as most harmful. They are:

1. You see me as a transaction not a relationship. This interaction involves customers who make a one-time mistake or are in a unique circumstance. They feel their loyalty with the company should override those mistakes. When the company does not prioritize customer loyalty, the customer believes the company cares only about extracting maximum value from each transaction rather than creating a long-term relationship.
2. Your policy is more important than my problem. This interaction involves customers who believe a policy is unfair, petty, overly rigid, or takes advantage of their business. All the customer really wants is individual treatment but feels the sales rep or advisor hides behind policies and technologies and fails to truly hear their concerns.
3. Guilty until proven innocent. This interaction involves customers who believe the way they are being treated is demeaning – such as being accused of lying, feeling patronized, not having the option to speak or explain, or being discriminated in any way.
4. “Sorry” seems to be the hardest word. This interaction involves customers who believe the company has made a mistake and won’t take responsibility for it. The customer loses faith in the competency of the provider.

I’ve surfaced these four loyalty-killing conversations because I think naming them is valuable for anyone in a customer-facing role. They also help us identify a handful of Crucial Conversations skills that if used, would eliminate a salty client interaction at a minimum, and at best, preserve the client relationship altogether.

So, when dealing with a disgruntled client, lean on these Crucial Conversations skills to avoid a loyalty-killing interaction.

Show Empathy

When a customer’s expectations of your product are unmet, it’s normal to feel exasperated and discouraged. As the sales rep in the agricultural industry, you likely aren’t directly responsible for their frustrations with the product, and you also don’t have the power to resolve them. You are simply the middleman. But while you might be vindicated in being defensive, don’t. In fact, resist the urge to respond at all. When a customer begins venting their frustrations, they just want someone to listen. Empathetically listening may seem unnatural because you’re just dying to step in with a logical explanation or even solve the problem if you can. But don’t. First listen. The customer is looking for empathy and understanding, which is given as much by your demeanor and expression as it is by the words you say.

Show Understanding

Once the customer realizes that you care, they want to know that you understand them. In your own words, repeat their issues and concerns. Don’t correct them or set the record straight, but simply repeat back their view. They want to know they’ve been understood. This can be hard—particularly if you know they’re wrong. If that’s the case, simply restate their view as their view, not the truth.

Validate

Whether the customer is right or wrong, validate their experience. In their reality, the product is not meeting expectations, and we all know how frustrating that can be—so share in their concerns. Validation is an important tool to building trust and respect and will allow the customer to be open to solutions and a continued partnership.

Connect to Values

Finally, once you’ve shown empathy and understanding, and validated their experience, explain how your actions are aimed at satisfying the client’s long-term values. Perhaps you say something like, “Your experience can help us improve what isn’t working so that we can be part of your success for years to come. And in the meantime, we’ll get a technician out here immediately to address any current issues.” By connecting to their values, you can take the focus off the short-term pain and place it on your long-term, value-based purpose, where it belongs.

Customer loyalty is rooted in more than a fair exchange of goods and services. It’s rooted in feeling like the company listens to their concerns and challenges, doesn’t hide behind policy and procedure to save money, and prioritizes the relationship first and foremost.

When you tentatively approach an unhappy customer with concern and understanding, it’s more likely they will be open and willing to cooperate on the current solution and a long-term business relationship.

Best of luck in your Crucial Conversations.

Brittney

The post Crucial Conversations in Customer Service appeared first on Crucial Learning.

I work with a senior employee who is passive-aggressive, interrupts the boss, pontificates, challenges direction he does not agree with, and diminishes team morale. I’d like to talk with him about this, but not sure how to begin or what to say. Can you help?

Signed,
Fed Up

Dear Fed Up,

Do you know the adage “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family”? Well, for the most part, the same goes for your coworkers. At work we are thrown into teams and cohorts of people that perhaps we’d never choose to hang out with on the weekend, or at all for that matter. And yet, despite a lack of affinity for these people, you’re required to not only get along with them, but also work with them to accomplish important projects. As if the work you were required to do wasn’t challenging enough, throw in diverse personalities, unique experiences, and bad behaviors, and it’s a miracle any work gets done at all.

This is exactly why we call our skills crucial. They aren’t just nice-to-have ideas on how to get along; they are essential to positive and productive social interactions and teamwork. When a colleague operates in the way you describe, how do you speak up?

Our research on verbal violence and bullying behavior in the workplace shows that people who demean or verbally abuse their colleagues often aren’t held accountable. Others assume “This is how they are, and nothing I do or say will change them or their behavior.” We choose to say nothing, stay away, avoid working with them, and vent to others (including your favorite advice column). These non-responses do nothing to help someone change their behavior, but instead provide silent endorsement that their behavior is acceptable. As my former colleague David Maxfield used to say, “Silence isn’t golden, it’s permission.”

So, I’ll start by congratulating you for taking steps to not simply acquiesce to your colleague’s harmful behavior. You can speak up and illuminate to your colleague the impact of both the intended and unintended consequences of his behavior. Now, whether he chooses to hear and receive your message is not up to you, but you can do your part to try and change the social dynamic of your team.

Check Your Story

Before you speak up, take pause and question the story you’re telling yourself about your colleague. You describe him as passive-aggressive, someone who pontificates, and who challenges others when he doesn’t agree. While these behaviors do sound unsavory, there could be another side. Consider that it’s possible your view of your colleague has been unfairly colored. For example, maybe he also has a dry sense of humor, is eager to share ideas but struggles to clearly express his views, and maybe he isn’t afraid to speak up when he disagrees with a decision he sees as harmful to the organization. When presented this way, these qualities could be beneficial to a team. Even if you consider this other perspective and still decide his actions are harming morale and should be confronted, the act of challenging the story you are telling about him will help you approach the conversation more compassionately.

Reverse Your Thinking

When someone behaves badly, most of us suffer in silence because all we consider are the risks of speaking up. Those who speak up and hold others accountable tend to do the opposite. They think first about the risks of NOT speaking up. If you choose to say nothing, your colleague will continue to alienate his teammates and destroy morale. Work—and any joy around doing that work—is unlikely to go well in this situation. The risks to both relationships and results are high. So, when you head into the conversation and a wave of doubt comes crashing in, think about those risks and proceed with confidence.

Lead with Facts

As you approach your colleague about his behavior, stick closely to the detailed facts. Strip out any judgmental or provocative language that will only elicit defensiveness. For example, don’t say, “Your style really irritates everyone on the team.” Instead lead with facts and be specific. It might sound like, “You often question the decisions that the team agreed on and when you do that it derails momentum, results in a lot of unnecessary work, and some are starting you think you don’t trust them.”

Validate Concerns

You might find that his behavior is triggered by a legitimate concern. For example, maybe he feels like he isn’t included in the original decision-making or that people don’t trust his experience. Should he surface a concern like that, validate it while also making it clear it needs to be handled better. “If you don’t feel like the team is consulting you appropriately, can you request we include you sooner in the process rather than challenging the decision after it has been made?”

Share Natural Consequences

Assume he isn’t fully aware of how his behavior affects others. Let him know what the consequences are when he is passive-aggressive, challenges direction, and interrupts people on the team. Share how those behaviors affect you, others, customers, work projects, etc. Give him a chance to see the impact of his behavior—to results, relationships, and his reputation.

Hold Boundaries

Let him know how you expect to be treated in the future and how you expect him and everyone on the team to act so you can work in a positive and productive environment. Ask for his commitment. Encourage him to seek training, or maybe your company could provide it. You can also let him know about intended consequences that will occur if the behavior continues. Perhaps you’ll speak up again, perhaps you’ll get others involved, or perhaps you’ll have to file a complaint with HR.

Holding people accountable is one of the most challenging Crucial Conversations you will encounter. It puts you in a position of vulnerability and discomfort. And for most people our history confirms that we will do it poorly—we’ll either be too emotional, too harsh, or too timid. I hope these tips will help you enter the accountability conversation with more confidence and poise so you can preserve both results and relationships.

Best of luck,
Brittney

The post How to Confront Bullying Behavior at Work appeared first on Crucial Learning.