Asking for the fix is a great tool to draw out what someone really wants but isn’t stating outright. It’s also important to invite someone to part of solving problems, not just identifying them. However, I think it’s important not to discourage feedback from people who aren’t sure of the fix. (Thanks to the “ask for the fix” approach, I’ve found myself failing to have crucial conversations in cases where we can’t solve without brainstorming together from a pool of shared meaning.) When someone uses feedback to take a jab without offering a fix, I think it’s dangerous to assume bad intentions. Maybe they have valuable perspective to help me be better, and they’re just bad at giving feedback. That’s why I suggest guiding the person to shift focus from my behavior they dislike to the actual outcome of my behavior that’s the real problem. Once we can see the shared problem (getting to mutual purpose), I can invite the person to be part of the solution by brainstorming a fix together with me.