Comments on: I’m Sick and Tired of Making Decisions for My Senior Colleague

By: Rob Stromberg

Rob Stromberg — Thu, 30 Nov 2023 15:35:02 +0000

Thank you for this discussion. I have been dealing with a Co- worker and having these emotions of anger and frustration and visibly seeing tasks not completed. I have even found myself going down the rabbit hole of vain imagination on possible outcomes because of an emotional trigger. I do understand that I am sought-after for valuable input on decisions, that my wisdom is appreciated, and that I need to take responsibility for the distractions that result from these meetings. Thanks for the advice on dealing with my emotions and reinforcing healthy boundaries. This article has helped me tremendously.

By: Jordan Snedaker

Jordan Snedaker — Thu, 30 Nov 2023 03:44:04 +0000

Great insights. I like how you created awareness and accountability for Used and Abused.

Thank you Ryan!

By: Marilyn Strong

Marilyn Strong — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 18:18:04 +0000

There’s another option. Perhaps the senior colleague is looking at you as a person to whom he could ‘pass the torch’ or promote and wants to see how you handle the situations.

By: Lisa A. Moran

Lisa A. Moran — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 17:14:15 +0000

This is such a great post! Stand firm in your own truth respectfully and give others the opportunity to do the same – or not, as they choose for themselves.

By: Sharon

Sharon — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 17:00:27 +0000

This is a GREAT post. Thanks for taking the time to detail it out. I have been working on ‘my stories’. It really makes a difference when I let those goes. I have been so much calmer since I went through Crucial Conversations class. 2 4 hour sessions and they helped so much! Thank you

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 16:50:13 +0000

In my world, asking for advice and input is called “collaboration.” Sometimes I do ask for input because I’m not sure of myself, but usually it’s because I want to consider alternate perspectives and include the voices of those I serve and work with. I appreciate that the folks at Crucial Conversations keep reminding me to consider what story I am telling myself, and be aware that the same mental default process is taking place with my colleagues.

By: Vic

Vic — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 16:43:43 +0000

I agree with the alternative ways to look at situation, especially taking responsibility oneself instead of blaming others etc.
I have dealt with similar situations and I would take my input and meet with my senior and ask for his view how he sees it and if he has some additional input to manage it.
After that, one can thank for the input and state what share the revised expected time/cost etc. This way you keep the senior in the loop and indirectly accountable as well.

Hope it helps.

By: Wendy Clarahan

Wendy Clarahan — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 16:42:35 +0000

Wow, what a great post! Now I’m going to apply that thinking to my marriage & parenting : ) Some things I got from this ..You can only control you. If you’re having an emotional response, why. Get curious & ask questions. What do you need to regulate your emotions. If you weren’t judging how could you be helping or resolving things. Many thanks!

By: Deborah Stone

Deborah Stone — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 16:33:37 +0000

I think your Sr. Colleague appreciates your expertise. Knowing what I know now as a Sr. Leader, when I ask for advise from those below me, it is because I want the perspective from the ones doing the day to day work. It is a compliment for them to be asking you and I always value those that provide the perspective to help me make a better decision. It is not that I am incompetent it is that I want a sanity check and advise from those that are focused daily on the issue. I am working several projects and need additional advice to make the best decision.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Wed, 29 Nov 2023 16:25:59 +0000

I was intrigued by step 3 in your process. Asking what is going on could lead to useful insight. I have heard that people get decision fatigue and can only make a certain number of important decision in a day or time period. Thus some people in important positions are offered a limited number of choices about clothes, food and other minor things to maintain capacity for major things. If this colleague is going thru some personal problem or unseen work issue they may be reaching their limit and just need help. I have seen this with colleagues dealing with divorce, excessive care giving situations like sick children or elder care and those with superiors who are also pushing decisions down hill.