The downside is I used to relish having fun, personal conversations at work and although missed, I realize how important boundaries are now. I am also much more productive not spending hours a day talking about nonsense and there is a significantly less chance of being attacked.

As a manager, I try to not be intrusive, but it’s important to hear the likes and dislikes of my staff so that I can work in the background to mitigate some of the less desirable aspects of the working environment or push for things that I know interest my team. Without this, I’m stuck with very limited information to make the work environment healthier.

I think it should also be noted, it is very common for people to be assessed on their ability to be a team player and likeability and these types of interactions are a natural way to convey something about you to others. Networking is critical and this is one of the easiest ways to do so.

What you’re asking isn’t unreasonable or unusual. I had a coworker who came into my work and was shocked by the amount of information our supervisor shared, and these were the tips I gave him about dealing with her:
1. Share with our supervisor what your personal boundaries are.
2. When she violates them (because its a matter of when, not if), remind her she may be comfortable sharing that information but that you aren’t as the receiver of that information. And you’ll likely have to repeat this for awhile before she gets the hang of it.
3. When we’re asking about weekend plans, you don’t have to give the hour by hour schedule. Most people are happy with simple and general answers. “Cleaning the house”. “Hanging with the family.” “Leaving it open to relax.” If they press for follow-up, you don’t have to answer more, I sometimes throw in a “we’ll see where the weekend takes me.”
4. If you’re comfortable in the moment, playing it off with humor can work well. “Whoa, hey, you’re sharing a bit much there!” “Just a reminder, I’m not a police interrogator” etc. can defuse a situation but not everyone is comfortable with that.
5. With medical stuff, you have to listen for why they are sharing the information. Sometimes its for commonality, i.e. everyone has aches and pains, so they find a commonality with you. Other times it is because they want you to understand about them, i.e. because they have X condition, they may need to jump out of meetings to use the restroom more frequently and there’s nothing wrong with them. Depending on the situation and your level of comfort, you don’t have to reciprocate. in the first situation, a “I’m sorry to hear that, have you looked at today’s spreadsheet” kind of diversion can help without sharing a lot of detail. In the second, thank them for explaining and move on.

I have a lot of respect for you wanting to hold boundaries. It takes time, but people do eventually get it. On our side of things, I want to say our work is on being polite but firm, and not being resentful when violations happen. In the beginning when I set boundaries like this, I was annoyed when people forgot them, but then I realized how much energy I was giving them instead of putting that energy into reinforcing my boundaries. Now people generally leave me alone and follow my lead with setting their own boundaries of what they are comfortable in talking about.

In my personal case, I share a limited set of facts with the people I work with and I’ve found that works well for me – things that I want to talk about naturally (my dogs) and things that will come up in the workplace (a medical condition requiring a certain type of food) so that people know just enough about me and nothing more.