Comments on: Power, Privilege, and Dialogue

By: Ryan Trimble

Ryan Trimble — Tue, 10 Jan 2023 15:28:50 +0000

In reply to Lynn. Thanks, Lynn. I hear you. All good points. Here's another Q&A on the subject with responses from people of various ethnicities and gender.

By: Lynn

Lynn — Sat, 07 Jan 2023 23:37:27 +0000

I appreciate your thoughtfulness Ryan as do I appreciate Crucial Conversations. I’d be curious to see this response from a woman of color who is not white passing specifically. The issue is that those who sit closest to power do not feel the need to learn these skills even though their ignorance may be causing ruckus with their good intentions. It is those that are marginalized that have to learn these skills to protect them from the powerful that often wield and abuse power. I’m thinking specifically of the questions that lean towards masking in the Crucial Conversations stress test. Masking is a must for Black people or people of color in the workplace or in the streets. It can literally be the different between life and death for black people with police. That’s why I’m curious to see how to interpret this through the lens of a person of color. I appreciate you addressing this idea and sparking this important conversation.

By: Ryan Trimble

Ryan Trimble — Mon, 22 Aug 2022 21:34:44 +0000

In reply to Vicky. You're right, Vicky. That was the question—at least part of it. I could have been more explicit, but in responding to the other part of the question (Don't these skills work best if you're in a position of power?) I had hoped to convey this idea, which I think is relevant to both questions: no matter your position, the Crucial Conversations skills give you greater voice. You may find this article more relevant to your point. Thanks for commenting.

By: Vicky

Vicky — Mon, 22 Aug 2022 17:10:45 +0000

Perhaps I misunderstood the question, I read it as asking about using the skills when you are not in the position of power. I appreciate your take, that you need them the most when you are in a position of power, 100% agree. But what about when you are the one without the power? The fight or flight response is real, and the risk scale is heavily weighted for those without power. Especially when positional power or lack thereof is combined with societal power or lack thereof. I’d be interested to hear more from the view of the person without power.

By: Ryan Trimble

Ryan Trimble — Fri, 19 Aug 2022 16:34:52 +0000

In reply to J. Lynn Jones. Thanks, J. Lynn. :)

By: J. Lynn Jones

J. Lynn Jones — Thu, 18 Aug 2022 20:09:00 +0000

Great summary Ryan. I especially liked how you compared the motives of those who have certain aspects of power to those who feel powerless.

By: Dee

Dee — Wed, 17 Aug 2022 13:45:40 +0000

In reply to Laura Moen. I completely agree. I appreciate having crucial conversation skills and use them in all aspects of my life. They have helped me create dialogue, where I'd more naturally default to direct the situation to an outcome I want, rather than working towards the best solution that includes other points of view. I have also found that the more I use these skills I teach others how I wish to dialogue in a listening and open way. That I want to hear them and understand their point of view or ideas. It is has greatly improved my relationships with those I report to, who report to me and also my friends, family and others I interact with. I have found that it has been a great way to open the doors to for others to participate with me in open communication on small, big and touchy topics.

By: georgewilhelmsen

georgewilhelmsen — Wed, 17 Aug 2022 12:39:45 +0000

I have found that this works regardless of position. If you start with heart, ask permission to discuss the subject, and share intent, it just works.
Are there exceptions? Of course there are. With that said, I have found that this works better than any other option when it comes to crucial conversations.
I for one am grateful for the training, and have used it in my consultations with leaders to help them achieve results in difficult situations.

By: Laura Moen

Laura Moen — Wed, 17 Aug 2022 12:15:33 +0000

Interesting question because I’m sure we all feel that we are at the mercy of others; their expectations, their directives, you name it. However, we are the ones who control the way we react to others and to situations. That is everyone’s power. To me, that’s where crucial conversation skills come into play.