Taylor, if you are asking specifically for an eight year-old trying master their stories, the challenge is to teach them these principles in a way that is developmentally appropriate and connects with their understanding. At 8, kids are often very egocentric and self-focused. That’s normal and healthy. Developmentally they some times have a harder time recognizing the motives and feelings of others. They can even have a very strong negative attribution bias. Even with probing questions it may be challenging for them to understand other people’s positive intent, unless guided by a skilled adult. Their limited experience reduces the number of possible options they can think of.

For example, if a child gets upset about something someone said to them, when you ask them why the other person said it they will often attribut negative intent and have a hard time exploring others options. A good place to start is by giving them some possible motivations (good and bad) and asking what evidence they have for them. They need much more help exploring the options.

Additionally, 8 is still relatively young and your child is still learning where emotion comes from. They may still believe that the emotions they feel are because of other’s behavior. By exploring other people’s potential motives and pointing out how they feel when they consider different options, they will be building a good foundation for understanding their role in managing their emotions. That’s just an idea of place to start.

Kurtis, it is amazing to see your name pop up here. I am glad you are doing well and carrying these principles forward. I am sure you are doing amazing things there in Idaho. Keep up the great work.

J. Lynn my friend, how are you? Thank you so much. We learned from the best and are just trying to encourage others on the great path you helped us get started on. I hope you are well.